World of Wümme

The Western Ohio Burger Tour 2011

2011-11-29T23:47:00.001-05:00

I was tempted to make either passports or merit badges for the inaugural Western Ohio Burger Tour. For this trip, which we completed in less than 8 hours, I suggested eating four regional burger champs. That may have proved to be too much by the end of the day, but we persevered and made it home safe and bloated. Again, inspired by Motz’s Hamburger USA trek, I knew one could experience an enriching staycation just visiting the burger meccas that lie along Interstate 75 in Western Ohio. The fourth burger (more in a future post) was a delightful detour off the beaten path. So for this post, we’ll stick with the first three, mostly for their aesthetic similarities.

The first three all fit a common theme. They all sat a mile or two from I-75 (an artery of the rust belt and half of America’s crossroads, along with I-70). They all started (we hit the original locations) in the county seat, at the absolute center of town, usually adjacent the courthouse. They were all emblematic of small town America, cultural institutions embedded in the fabric of these communities. They all have their men’s rooms situated on the outside of the restaurant (anyone know the reason for this?) There’s a reason they’ve all survived and stood the test of time – they provide a wholesome regional identity with their product and a tangible link to the past. It’s something that goes beyond nostalgia -- each place is a living, breathing, reminder. Between Wilson’s, Kewpee, and The Spot, who has claim to the best burger and the best place in which to enjoy that burger?

Wilson's Sandwich Shop

600 S. Main St.

Findlay, Ohio

(8.1)

Atmosphere: I’m probably in the minority here, but I feltFindlay, Ohio had a bit too much of a Pleasantville feel to it. Giant houseslined Main St. all draped in jingo-Americana, some even had massive dollhousesof those house in the grand windows. I thought this was the rust belt, but youwouldn’t know it cruising into downtown. The location was almost too clean, toopolished, to indicative of small town America. Almost as if it was forced.Surrounded by windows were orange stools surrounding an open kitchen andtypical burger joint counter – all too typical. I suppose that’s my onlyargument of Wilson’s. Everything seemed quaint enough, but something seemedawry. I just can’t put my finger on it.

1.9

Burger: Rumor has it that Wilson’s became Wilson’s becauseWilson didn’t want to purchase a Kewpee franchise. So he tweaked the recipe(using mayo instead of Miracle Whip) and opened his Sandwich Shop. It’s stillhard to mess with Wilson’s variation on what we’ve found to be the standardOhio square hamburg (look to your nearest Wendy’s). It’s nothing fancy – the burger,with “everything,” includes tomato, onion, lettuce, a slice of American cheese,off a flattop grill. Perfection, really.

3.4

Hype: I can put my finger on that something that seemedawry. They were awfully suspect of strangers and the insider’s guide toordering a Wilson’s burger killed our initial buzz for Wilson’s. It’s uppity ina way – and didn’t have the underdog status vs. Kewpee that one would think. Allof that said, the burger is more than worth your visit, if only to say you’vetried both for comparison.

2.6

Kewpee Hamburgers

111 N. Elizabeth St.

Lima, Ohio

(8.8)

Atmosphere: What we loved about Lima is how it was theantithesis of Findlay. The city was pretty gnar/gnar and has seen much betterdays. Kooler’s, which looked like the most happening abandoned train stationturned bar, had long closed up, but three Kewpee’s outposts (including the originaldowntown location) remain as thriving businesses. And though that downtown wasgrimy and plain, half shut-down, there was a bustling line through the drive-inat the tiny diner. It had the essential qualities of an old-school burger joint(perhaps because it defined those qualities) and nothing has changed – lots ofchrome and kitsch, an impeccable logo/mascot, a compact, steaming, visiblekitchen, swinging doors, huge malts, and a staff that was equally accommodatingand aging. Priceless.

2.2

Burger: Maybe it was the character of the place, but it wasthe best food on our trip. Maybe it was the tang of the Miracle Whip that gavethe burger a distinct sweeter flavor? Kewpee was the first to use the flat bun,the first to offer the “deluxe” burger (wit’ tomato, lettuce, onions, cheese),and it shows. The “mity nice hamburger” which “caters to all folks” is the blueprintfor burgers across the Midwest.

3.6

Hype: The chain originated in Flint, Michigan in 1923 andhas longed been known to serve as the inspiration for Dave Thomas’ Wendy’sburger. Eventually the franchise moved headquarters to Lima – and now thislocation is the longest still in operation. You want more firsts? Kewpeefounder Samuel V. Bair was also the first to introduce curbside service, whicheventually morphed into the modern day drive-thru. So pairing the food withsuch history – this is the real Ohio burger experience and well worth yourtime.

3.0

The Spot

210 S. Ohio St.

Sidney, Ohio

(7.9)

Atmosphere: Though once a chain to serve Shelby and MiamiCounty, the Sidney Spot (previously known as the Spot to Eat) is the onlyremaining location. It’s been there, at a picturesque corner of downtown Sidney,in one form or another, since 1907. That’s a testament to the brand, theloyalty of Sidney’s citizens, and the durability of a good burger. Though theSpot might be untouched, the excessive displays of nostalgia and ‘50s kitschand diner-red-leather booths and neon, might have taken from the taste, theexperience.

2.2

Burger: Still, this was the third stop the day. We neededcoffee and walk about the square to keep off the sweats. Cleansed, we tried ourbest to comply and be objective. The Spot burger is a variation on anotherclassic of the Ohio burger world – namely the Big Boy double decker. There wasa “special sauce” (tartar, relish, mayo) and a poppyseed bun sandwiching asomewhat bland thin patty. I certainly prefer Frisch’s. The Spot’s only savinggrace on the day was the sheer variety of their diner essentials menu.

2.9

Hype: Sidney had the nicest of the three historic downtowndistricts. We could’ve spent the day just exploring those few blocks. But eventhat is not worth the trouble to pull off the highway to frequent the Spot whenthere’s a Kewpee a mere 15 minutes away.

2.8

Perfume - "Spice"

2011-11-28T18:37:00.001-05:00

It figures the day I'm finished typing up my Year End List, Japan's Perfume swoops in with their latest single, "Spice," and lifts me to pop heaven. Two days later and I've probably listened to this song 300 times. Seriously. It's why here at W.O.W. love the plasticity and sheer future-forward sonics of Britney Spears, Tove Styrke,HyunA and to a lesser extent, even Ke$ha and Rihanna. Perfume have been at the J-Pop game for a spell, but JPN, their first album in four years, has simply come out of nowhere and raised the bar in the pop park. Autotuned, maximal, brimming with 8-bit bleeps and candy-coated arpeggios -- this is something you need to hear in surround, in widescreen, everything ping-ponging around the room. Being stuck in a pachinko machine. I think I've used that analogy before, but it's most fitting here. Maybe it's the cold war between with K-Pop that has raised Perfume to this entirely new level?

Dwarr for All Mankind

2011-11-17T21:09:00.001-05:00

Not Gwar. Duane Warr came long before. One look at the album covers for Starting Over and Animals, the man's 1984 and 1986 homespun masterpieces, and you think you know what you're getting into. That's not the case. Dwarr is the origin of trailer-psych metal -- proto-before-proto, but still huffing the ashes of the earliest Black Sabbath. My Agit-Interview with Warr is perhaps one of the most enlightening of my career as a music journalist/hack. Wonderful stuff. I promised the man I'd make sure everyone saw his excellent videos as well.

Here's Are You Real?, my personal favorite:

The Glenn Braggs Appreciation Thread

2011-11-09T15:58:00.000-05:00

I have theories as to why I consider Glenn Braggs my baseball-playing alter-ego. I have lots of remembrances of that 1990 Reds World Series team. Larkin, Davis, Rijo, the Nasty Boys, Sabo’s goggles, Billy “Pop-Up Heard Round the World” Hatcher. But I always find my favorites in the utility players (hence my love of Miguel Cairo, Willy Mo Pena, Ryan Freel) and the forgotten intangibles that made them such a fun team to root for that summer and beyond. Glenn Braggs, for many reasons, was my favorite Red that year. He had a monstrous physique, a contagious smile, a built-in name suited for the ultimate ’88 emcee, and the propensity to break bats over his knee, or, on occasion, in mid-swing. Braggs was infinitely likeable, a power-outfielder who worked hard to keep that status despite a .257 career average. Maybe he never had the chance, the ABs to prove them wrong. For his 7 seasons in the majors he played a small role for both the Brewers, who first drafted him, and my beloved Reds (to whom he pledges his allegiance).

And just like Braggs was an integral cog in the (new) Big Red Machine, his life is full of intangibles that make him even more an intriguing personality. He went on to play for the Yokohoma BayStars until 1997, married Cindy Herron of En Vogue, and continues to work his way into the Cincinnati organization. He probably even kicks it with Charlie Sheen now and then, though as far as I can glean he’s not named in the Mitchell Report for steroid use. A true star of the Bo Jackson Shoebox era. Even his Starting Line-Up is rare.

Behold...The Year of Hibernation

2011-11-09T15:50:00.001-05:00

Talk about a record that completely flew under my radar. When Youth Lagoon first appeared I mistakenly passed it off as another record using twee as entry into the world of indie rock. Too many bands these days use Young Marble Giants as their first source of influence, but rarely, if ever, make good on that claim. This debut from Boise, Idaho's Trevor Powers is perhaps the closest approximation of that band's tiny sound. I'm having trouble finding any correlation between this record and the comparisons he has gained -- Sparklehorse, Mercury Rev, Flaming Lips. The Year of Hibernation is something completely different. These songs take a more than just a moment, or a double listen, to sink in and under the skin. Power's has tiny ambitions and big implosions, blasts of color that appear far in the distance. These are huge, hook-filled pop songs that come whispered instead of shouted. The record is almost insufferably quiet and barely registers, requiring even more of an ear to enter this insular and warm glowing atmosphere presented by Powers. Because of this, you have to find your own structure in the guy's out-there existentialism. Chronic anxiety and a hard-luck break-up are said to have shaped Power's music -- and you can hear it -- he's a man with a strong knack for pop, but hides it in the folds. The Year of Hibernation is sure to make it into my best of 2011 list. Believe it.

Unfinished Rainbows' First Voyage

2011-11-05T13:36:00.000-05:00

A few Sunday's back, there were possibly ten people (at most) milling around my favorite new bar in Columbus, Double Happiness, waiting around for Jerusalem and the Starbaskets to play their cheery-yet-ragged psych-pop and Sundown to get Americana-kosmiche. Surveillance footage managed to catch a glimpse of Unfinished Rainbows (playing to about 3) droning to the max. UR is Matt Horseshit's multi-purpose psych-unit-destroyer. For 20 minutes or so he took us into the world that probably only gets played through headphones late at night. This is not anything resembling his other band -- it's a trip for several movements, spliced with samples, and soon lurching with death-sized beats. Sick. Be on the lookout for more Unfinished Rainbows performances, including one coming up in December with Radio People and NYC's Forma.

Black Bug Welcome You To the Machine

2011-11-05T13:28:00.000-05:00

Keeping up the the Hozac's is a nearly a full-time job -- and being that I have a few other jobs to fulfill on a daily basis, I mistakenly tuned out the label for much of the second half of this year. Besides the excellent Fungi Girls debut LP, I couldn't really tell you what's going on up in Chicago. The singles club still functions, the releases come at a rapid clip, and as a result a lot of great things there get lost in the shuffle. One such single comes from Sweden's Black Bug. Their Police Helicopters EP is one of those occasions for the label to delve into the gnarliest, darkest corners of cold wave. This is as black as they come. It's perfectly reminiscent of the Human League before they became "Human" with possibly a splash of Napalm Death -- if only for that bands hyper-blasts. The drum machines here are cranked to that setting, and left on auto-pilot. Throughout there are space-punk sci-fi shouts (think 1984) battling with the droid overlords. The synths keep up, speeding to a colorful paranoia. One has the feeling that as automaton as Black Bug sounds they could certainly conjure some hooks from those machines. Like an 8-bit Cramps or Suicide plopped into the middle of one of those endless Metroid dungeons. This is decrepit, scummy, vile, noise terrorism quite worthy of the three or four minutes you'll spend with the duo. Not sure I could handle this as a full-length (maybe if they kept it under 15 minutes?)

Here's a vid for the single's title track:

Iceage and the New Brigade

2011-11-03T19:29:00.005-05:00

Back in the midst of Summer, when IceAge (read up by hitting my interview with them back in May) rolled into the Carabar, there were a lot of naysayers shunning their brief, but pummeling 20 odd minute set. Maybe it was the buzz that was rolling behind them, liable to swallow the young Danish punks before they got the chance to head back home. Sure they weren't all that personable on stage, stormed off in an apparent fit, and blasted through their songs without much room to breath and/or acknowledge/fix the sound and/or deal with the technical issues - but that's their speed. I doubt their first whirlwind tour through the states involved much sleep and/or health and/or comfort and/or privacy judging by the way they were received their first NYC show back in June (saw that one too). I helped them haul their gear up two flights of steps and into a crust-punk palace, where no one was having it, but they ended up destroying those Bushwick kids nonetheless.

It's getting time to start listing off the albums of the year -- and I'm revisiting this debut over and over. It's certainly a top 5 record. And anyone who disagrees might just be too old. I firmly believe this record has the same weight as a number of other punk landmarks -- Wire's Pink Flag, the Refused's Shape of Punk to Come, Minor Threat, Discharge, Warsaw -- and any rebellious teen who puts this on will have their minds blown, subsequently scrawling the quartet's logo onto their Trapper Keepers.

All in all they are pretty kind, unassuming dudes. They know how to attack when it matters. Melodies abound atop a great approximation of '10s hardcore. Can't wait to hear what's next.

Here's the band's first video for New Brigade's title track:

Live in Columbus, Ohio. Taped by the infamous Mike Sperry.

R I M A R Reveals Himself

2011-11-01T20:26:00.000-05:00

I guess we call this the arrival. With the once free debut digital album from Brooklyn's Rimar now coming in the vinyl format on Bella Union Records -- it was only a matter of time before the elusive beat-maker/popsmith revealed himself via this video for Higher Ground's title track. Here he rocks the rooftops of two boroughs and dances awkwardly like a b-boy who has just decided to rule the world. It's blissfully hazy and a perfect introduction to the man. Though I've already put into words an introduction to the man over at Agit-Reader.

Go buy his record. Cheer him on. I have a feeling he'll be backing numerous up-r-coming young emcess in the coming months -- aside from making a more profound second record.

Chili Quest Finale: Blue Ash

2011-11-01T19:36:00.000-05:00

For the longest time and for some unbeknownst reason whilst organizing the Cincinnati Chili Quest, I had thought Blue Ash Chili was a copycat, or recently built parlor styled to authenticate the Cincinnati Chili Experience. I had no idea, until finally visiting the quiet Northern burb, that Blue Ash was an original, or at least since 1969 -- a long time for a small scale chili parlor to survive. I suppose it was just the assumption that Blue Ash was an affluent hood outside the ranks of the river living communities near downtown and over the river.

We were on our way to the best seats ever at the Paul McCartney concert at Great American Ballpark (my highest ranking experience there all year, didn't see the Reds win once this season) so it only seemed logical to stop and finish the tour (unless you can steer me towards an "open" Empress franchise?). I must say. It was perfect. In many respects I can rank this among Price Hill as the place for authentic Cincinnati Chili. It might even have a slight advantage -- the addition of fried jalapenos.

Then again, there wasn't much Cincy pride memorabilia dotting the walls or a lore surrounding the place. It's also in Blue Ash -- which is somewhat of a hike, and has somewhat become that affluent escape from the hustle and bustle of the city. Perhaps another point for Blue Ash come to think of it.

Is the Quest over? You tell me.

We Interrupt this Blog...for some Unholy Two GIFS

2011-11-01T19:11:00.002-05:00

This was taken at the first annual MegaCity Music Marathon back in September. Unholy Two destroyed that night. (hint, hint -- mark your calendars for next year's Marathon -- Saturday, June 9th). Now is a long time from then, so I'm taking this opporutnity -- and giving you a double shot of the UH2 -- to let you know to expect some (more) regular posts aboard here. Lots of fall/winter goodies in store.

James Ferraro's FACT Mix

2011-11-01T18:49:00.000-05:00

Funny. Just picked up a Glenn Jones album for $1 the other day. You can't go wrong with "If It Isn't Love" by New Edition in the autumn. Sounds like Ferraro is on exactly my same wavelength. All I ever want to make for you to consume here, sounds like a clear TDX mixtape full of forgotten 92.1 slow jams and new jack, melted beyond any reason of familiarity, and re-cut for an age when we'll need cassettes like this again. I can't vouch for the Teletubbies/Starbucks designed clarity of Ferraro's new Far Side Virtual (I much prefer the older stuff), but this mix has latest for weeks now.

Go Here to Experience the Magic....

Me Phi Me...Too Smart for His Thyme

2011-11-01T18:41:00.001-05:00

My sudden interest in Me Phi Me came directly from this article from the AV Club regarding novelty hip-hop bands (mostly from the ‘90s, the era of most Bo Jackson entries) – many of these novelty acts were purchased and neatly tucked away in the shoebox. The shocking thing is that back then, when a teenager’s music catalogue was limited to FM radio and a shoebox, I would listen to many of these tapes from front to back repeatedly. Imagine trying your best to listen to Candyman’s debut repeatedly – that may or may not attribute to my onset adult ADD or blurry judgment when it comes to my perception of hip-hop nostalgia. Maybe it was basic training, played out on Justin Smith’s mammoth boombox (it was 3 feet high and rising, I was infinitely jealous of it)? Regardless, I hold a soft-spot in my heart for the first time I heard Me Phi Me’s “Sad New Day.” Blame it on De La Soul initially – the flower children of the Native Tongue era – or P.M. Dawn’s daisy romantics, or how much I appreciated Arrested Development’s entry into thinking man’s rap-pop (“Tennessee” has stood the test of time).

I think it was more my eventual transition to ditch the Starter hats and jackets and assimilating into an aesthetic of “alternativeness.” Classics, Punk, and Metal (all teenage touchstones) had been a part of me for some time, but somewhere between 9th and 10th grade it all changed. I was fully acceptant of folkies and poetry geeks, vegans and revolutionaries, French New Wave and Public Enemy-esque anti-politics (forcing me to read The Autobiography of Malcolm X at a very young age). So Me Phi Me’s adherence to an individual spirit was magnetic. Seriously, no one in hip-hop was using smooth jazz pioneer Michael Franks in their recordings (though the guy is almost directly responsible for over 75% of chillwave) and no one was referring to themselves as a “fraternity of one.” The existential “sun brotherhood” is the overriding concept of Me Phi Me’s One, his debut in 1992 -- there are more than a few full-fledged chants for this fraternity all over the album – and by the time you make it through the whole record (I can guarantee you won’t) you’ll have a sense of the direct inspiration of Me Phi Me’s left-field curveball here. It stems from the escalation of an artist like Tracy Chapman or the aforementioned paisley coalition.

Meditate at your own risk.

When Nash Were Young

2011-08-24T22:38:00.002-05:00

In remembering 84 Nash...trying to piece together the best possible setlist to represent what we did for 10+ years, has been a great chore in the last few weeks since deciding we'll be getting back together. For one show at least. Well, in digging, Andy found this, well-known (at least by three of us) leftover from the Band For Hire sessions. "Sirens Going Steady." I, for one, am extremely excited to shake off the rust, because, just not for nostalgia's sake, I know there's plethora of songs like this sitting dormant that you all (who remain interested) need to hear. And for those who aren't in the know, I honestly feel there's an album worth of "quality" and "innovation" and simply pure "Nash Pop" that has yet to be discovered. Believe it. This is just a taste. It's a little quiet, but I suppose that's just lo-fi (or that it's culled from the original demo cassette of Band For Hire).

84 Nash - Sirens Going Steady

Visiting the Hoosier's Gym

2011-08-24T22:29:00.000-05:00

After the Columbus, Indiana post, there's little much else to post except for this nugget. Adam, the biggest fan of the film Hoosier's I know (besides my father) was sleeping after our exhausting day in the "Athens of the Prairies" in the back-seat. I surprised him by pulling up next to the gym where that movie, at least the baseketball scenes, were filmed. Thanks to our fearless guide, Merve, we learned that the Hoosier's Gym has become a staple in b-ball lore. Many a Indiana High School tournament played there, many an interview between legends (Magic, Bird, Enemy 'Bron, 'Melo), many a reunion of former cast members, has occurred in the tiny gym of Knightstown. Well worth our 20 minute detour. I once imagined putting a blindfold on my dad and driving him all the way here for a birthday. He's the inspiration.

Jhene Aiko and the Sailing Soul(s) Crush

2011-08-24T22:18:00.000-05:00

Jhene Aiko? So I dismissed any urge to download Aiko’s summer mixtape simply based on the cover (something you learn not to do in school, right?). I thought she looked like a second-class Beyonce or Rhianna, treading R&B waters, just trying to make a name via hipster R&B mixtapes. Can’t fault a girl from trying, especially in a dog-eat-dog world full of producers trying to meddle with various ingénues/wannabe-divas for the end result – just one hit. I must be blind to certain trends at this point, as I can’t identify (besides Drake’s “Marvin’s Room”) where Aiko is lamping over others’ creations/beats. I was introduced with “Snapped,” seen in the amazing Ah-Ha/Akira inspired vid below, which by all accounts is a Jhene Aiko exclusive.

As I was spewing out the virtues of Britney Spears’ recent Columbus show (review/or sort of review forthcoming), a good friend of mine asked how I decide on which parts of the plastic pop universe I choose to adore (since there’s so much). He wasn’t questioning my love for this ilk of sophisto-mainstream pop (he understands the general nostalgia), but just why I chose Britney over another. Or Beyonce over Rhianna (which I do). Or for that matter why Jewel’s “Intuition” is much superior to any other contemporary artist, in her predicament, who attempted to tap into that Top 40 realm down that alley. And for all those questions, I didn’t have an answer. It’s not a guilty pleasure, as there’s no such thing. Femme Fatale, Britney Spears latest masterpiece (yes, masterpiece) is not a guilty listen. It’s one I genuinely enjoy on many levels for its future-forward approach to pop and how it posits the star. Anyone who thinks Britney Spears continues upon a downward slope is definitely not listening to the music. It’s not her creation, fer sure, but the money and ingenuity attached to her persona is enough. I wish these behind-the-scenes wizards took more chances. Then, of course, a legitimate artist (?) like Jhene Aiko, or Sky Ferreira, or Nicki Minaj, would be in the running for this stable of production ohhhs and ahhhs. Instead, I suppose they all fight the good fight, against the Britney’s and the Beyonce’s of in their horizon. I’m sure some of them will prevail. I haven’t yet even tipped the iceberg of Tove Styrke (jeez, just wait). There is assurance, that much like her counter – let’s plug in the wonderful Cassie right now, Jhene Aiko has a bright, but predictably, unpredictable future ahead of her.

It was early morning, this week, playing this loud, that I was assured of Aiko's power.Go Here for the Mixtape.

Burger Tour 2011: Johnnie's Tavern

2011-08-24T21:50:00.005-05:00

Johnnie's Tavern
3503 Trabue Rd.
Columbus, Ohio
(7.2)

Johnnie’s Tavern sits out on an edge of Columbus known as San Margherita. I suppose that’s why John included the “h” when he stretched his name and loaned it to his tavern in 1948. I don’t think this neighborhood has ever been much, hence the need for a tavern like Johnnie’s. Supposedly San Margherita is on the way to no longer being independent of the city – so this highly industrial, haven for massive faux-luxury apartment complexes, directly east of proper Hilliard, will eventually be sucked into Columbus. Then can we call Johnnie’s our own? I’ve driven this stretch of the city many times before. Maybe because I had a friend who used to allow us to jump into the reservoir in the middle of his faux-luxury complex back in the day, or maybe because the UPS hub was the only place to pick up your UPS shipped items? Granted, I’d been here before. Not Johnnie’s, but in a mindset that reflects the rough and worn environs of Johnnie’s. The Super Johnnie Burger was on the Burger GPS, so this was a little bit cheating, but also exploration. You have to drive to get what is now (sorry Thurman’s, size doesn’t matter) my favorite burger in Columbus. But that isn’t saying much, because while it was good, it doesn’t match the 4 burgers found in Western Ohio (full report coming soon, I promise).

Atmosphere: What can I say? I’m a sucker for the low-rent vibe that pervades Johnnie’s. Of course we were in Columbus but our party was looked at up and down like we just came from the ends of the Earth, or Brooklyn, or something. They only have fried items for food – besides the Super Johnnie – and Michelob on tap (the coldest beer in Columbus?) but it’s extremely cheap (your reward for finding the place) and the service was beyond friendly. One could easily waste an afternoon here and get that “stuck in a Roseanne episode” type of nostalgia. Then again, this arena for drink (and nothing else) can likely be found anywhere along the outskirts of the city.

2.2

Burger: Here’s where the points come in. Presentation wise, it was your standard large, single patty, accompanied by lettuce, tomato, onion, American cheese, and mayo on a sesame bun. Who can fuck that up? Apparently diner after diner after dive bar across the country. Everything here seemed built with care – the cheese perfectly melted and delivered (see picture) and the veg fresh. This is a big burger, but was cooked to another level of perfection – a nice medium, and spiced with the slightest amount of black pepper. It was an ingredient that was prominent but didn’t overwhelm and surprised all who took this journey. The pepper flavor is what took the Super Johnnie over the (average) top. There was no special sauce, no novelty condiment, no catch. Just a satisfying burger. And that’s something the Five Guys and Grafitti Burger (and even the Big Boy) do well, but never in this type of memorable way.

3.1

Hype: The Super Johnnie is worthy of being on the Motz’s Burger GPS and in his book. As stated (so far) this is the best burger I’ve had in Columbus. And adhering to my atmosphere score, there’s nothing off-putting about a visit there. That said, it’s hard to justify a jaunt down that way, even in the relatively small confines of the Columbus Metropolitan area. It eeks above the rest. And I’ve yet to try the Gahanna Grill, which may become a suitable foe to this West side establishment. It’s quintessentially a neighborhood haunt quite honestly, and going above that seems out of their league. A good burger overall, but not a requirement. I realize that is contradictory to my mission.

1.9

Journey to Columbus....Indiana

2011-08-24T20:49:00.001-05:00

If you read here regularly you know I somewhat pride myself on being knowledgeable about the nooks and crannies traveling throughout the tri-state region. Be it chili parlors, baseball pit-stops, or generally intriguing tourist traps. This summer, like last summer and likely the one before it (I haven’t been out of the country since Montreal, 2009) has been the season of staycation. I can honestly say my first summer off as an educator has been chocked full of mini-trips, mainly being the reason WOW has kept quiet in these months. I’m catching up. Be on the lookout. But for now I want to purge what was perhaps my best voyage. Little did I know about the hidden gem hidden in Southern Indiana known as the “Athens of the Prairie.” There’s a guy Eugene who frequently is a patron during my bar shifts – he sits alone, reads, eats, and goes out to smoke a lot. Our conversations usually end up leading towards our equal love of seeking out the world’s best architecture. One night in July he couldn’t believe I’d never heard of Columbus, Indiana. So based on what he told me and what I learned on my own (thanks to the wonders of Wikipedia) it soon became a priority destination. A few weeks back, Patti (mom), Adam (bro), and myself made the four hour pilgrimage, about 40 minutes outside of Indianapolis, to discover a community built and designed like no other in Midwest.

Long story short (find it yourself and read it) – the man who made the town, J. Irwin Miller (founder of the Cummins Engine Company), wanted to invest in Columbus to be that community built and designed like no other. So he began to contribute his own funds to the city as long as they chose an architect from his list. First it was a church (pictured above) by Finnish architect Eliel Saarinen and then it was the bank downtown (pictured below)by his more renowned son, Eero, it boiled over to schools, and the library, city hall, and eventually even the jail. It quickly became a canvas for inventive architects and landscape sculptors.

Just pulling into town you could tell that Columbus had become a magnet for aspiring modern and post-modern architects, and it rubbed off on many of the residents, who you can see all wanted to own a home unique to their peaceful and extremely flat environment. This is of course, not to mention the many examples of classical architecture that already formed the bulk of Columbus before Miller became bent for the future. Miller’s private home, commissioned for Eero to design, is a feat of architecture that is said to parallel Frank Lloyd Wright’s Falling Water, just recently opened to the public – and on this day and many days into the future entrance to the home was sold out. But we did get to see what many consider Eero’s masterpiece, the North Christian Church (pictured above, which we dubbed Jesus’ spaceship), finished after the architect had passed. It was the finale of a very informative bus tour through the highlights of Indiana’s architecture. We soon learned though, it’s a walking city, and many of the treasures not found on the tour can be found within a mile radius of the Tourist Center (itself a known piece of architecture.

We certainly didn't see it all. Which will definitely prompt a return visit. But just the chunk we did see was enough to be inspired by American ingenuity. It was a bit Eerie, Indiana, or Pleasantville (visit the century old soda parlor for proof), yet still balanced by a World's Fair (or Tomorrowland) type of vision. And....on your way home you can visit the Hoosier's Gym in Knightstown and the Warm Glow Candle Company, off of I-70. Go there.

Some extra sites:

The Cleo Rogers Memorial Library by I.M. Pei.

The aforementioned county jail building.

The local newspaper.

The post office.

The Entrance to Cummins Engine Company HQ.

I suppose this is where you deal with your cable bill.

2011 Dusk of Summer Mix

2011-08-18T18:43:00.000-05:00

It's been a long time. I know. I've had this Special Blend i the works for some time -- some of it's even tagged for December. Apologies if you care enough. You can find the last blend, the 2010 Season of Wither Mix -- here. (Right Click to Download)

Enjoy.

2011 Dusk of Summer Mix

1. Christine McVie – Got a Hold on Me
2. Greatest Hits – Fun Girls
3. SBTRKT – Wildfire
4. SWV – I’m So Into You
5. Part Time – Cassie (Won’t You Be My Doll)
6. Tove Styrke – High and Low
7. Marcos Valle – Tira A Mao
8. Sleep ∞ Over - Romantic Streams
9. Midnight Television – All Night
10. P.M. Dawn – I’d Die Without You
11. The Sea and Cake – Jackin’ the Ball
12. Twin Sister – Bad Street
13. Melted Toys – Wild Waves
14. Gross Magic – Sweetest Touch
15. Laptin – Livin’ 4
16. Switch – I Call Your Name

58:45

(A World of Wumme Production, 2011)

About the Dusk of Summer Mix:

The dusk of summer is something that’s become impossibly difficult to make tangible. Whether you’re 34 or 14 or 8, August in Ohio always has a way of exhaling, as if May through July have been months of sweat, short breaths, and short, exasperating, joy-infused breaths. And that’s with or without traipsing Europe, and that’s with or without the beach or being poolside, even with or without amusement parks and state fair -- as long as you’ve experienced the faint stench of overgrown, unmaintained foliage near an abandoned factory you’ve lived through summer eternal. Even if the weather doesn’t cooperate (you can’t complain in Ohio) wherever you live, there is always the imprint of summer and the season’s eventual shift. Sundown comes earlier and earlier, as if every passing day is a bittersweet reminder the “fun” is over. You better have your Moon Tower moment this weekend, or next, and if you don’t know what a Moon Tower moment is, cold beers in a lightning bug waning backyard is the moment. Post-Labor Day you’ve gone too far. It is business as usual as sleeves get longer and shorts disappear. Baseball either gets serious or deflates until spring. Browsing through the megastore, you almost want to buy back-to-school supplies just to re-align one’s scruples frazzled from the fever dreams and plastic memories which can accumulate over summer.

This could also be the Staycation Mix – but I’ve had a few summers of Staycations and that seems to be the norm – exploring my surroundings and soaking it all in. No need to cross state lines (though I could include a few trips to the BIG CITY as inspiration in my current design), as it’s really all here. It is. Or within radials of three or four hours NSEW.
Tough to assess where the mix stands in the realm of a three month holiday, but more than anything it reflects THE END, the dusk. There’s the obligatory Twin Sister cut (cause that’s what you’ll be jamming in Autumn) and Switch (recalling the regular theme of late ‘70s/early ‘80s street funk), some Teen Gloss and New Jill Swing, and Fleetwood Mac. The Mac has been a certified staple of summer – even if it’s only Christie McVie. Here’s to, not only the dusk, but also the hidden gems of summer.

Nudge Squidfish Television

2011-08-09T20:40:00.000-05:00

Some people in the Harrisburgh Players universe has been very busy lately, accumulating deteriorated VHS cassettes and other decaying media in hopes of preserving it for future generations to "learn" about "what went on." Of course, most of us, who did not survive among the time of the True Believers, have very little visual evidence of these times and their creative tidal-wave -- that's not to say we can't leave it to our imagination through oral legends passed down and those recordings -- and the stuff Nudge Squidfish has posted in a short time onto the mercurial channels of YOUTUBE (SUBSCRIBE) is filled with footage most of us will have never known existed. Among the multiple UFO sightings are music videos from Tommy Jay and Mike Rep, hour-long documentaries on Jim Shepard, full live shows, obscure audio from JayFish and Nudge himself uploaded over some pretty head-shaking imagery. Start watching, and start digging that rabbit hole you're about to retreat into.

Apparently the resurrection and revival of all this is to be celebrated in a much bigger project which you'll hopefully be seeing in an art museum/lonely basement somewhere soon.

Until then....."Tuff Luck Roy" courtesy of Tommy Jay...

Polvo Make a "Heavy Detour"

2011-08-09T20:01:00.000-05:00

Living my very impressionable high school/early college years in '90s, it's a given that I'm a sucker for all of this reuniting many of my favorite bands have succumbed to for various reasons --to promote the 10 year re-issue, for the money, for retribution, for the glory. Trust me, there are varying scales of excitement when it comes down to it. From "OMFG the classic Guided By Voices line-up has lost nary a step," to "though I was nonplussed by Pavement, I still knew all the words and sang along with a smile," and down the grade with "there's no fucking way I'm driving to Detroit to see Archers of Loaf." Perhaps my favorite reunited band from those halcyon days is that of Polvo. They could easily be schilling their long underrated records from back then (Merge has re-issued the excellent Celebrate the New Dark Age EP in a deluxe version) but have instead chose to re-ignite the flame and return where they left off, in complete earnest. Their sole purpose is to rock again -- and show that their oddball antics of the past were ahead of their time. Their return was invigorating -- sounding nothing like the Polvo of 1997 (the last we'd heard from them) but yet, just like we left them (as strange as ever). 2009's In Prism was one of my favorite records of that year. It didn't sound like there was even a scrap of rust or regret on it.

And now, two years later, they are back again. We'll have to see what another new album morphs into, but if "Heavy Detour" (the first single) is any indication, it will be another massive left turn for the band. Ash Bowie sings as if he is mortally grizzled (in the best way possible) here, chomping and choogling through some futurized boogie prog. Tambourine on a Polvo record? Yes. They are an American band after all. I hate to bring in Grand Funk here but this is the gnarliest the GFR has ever chugged down the tracks. Add in some serious Wakemen-esque synth arpeggios and I'd be remiss to add Emerson, Lake and Palmer. OK. That last comparison is a bit of a stretch (and a wretch were it not for Tarkus), but I'm trying to make a point. Just listen. They deserve your attention.

Polvo - Heavy Detour by MergeRecords

Burger Tour 2011: Fat Patty's

2011-08-02T02:06:00.003-05:00

Fat Patty's
1935 3rd Ave.
Huntington, West Virginia

(4.5)

Fat Patty's was a must because, well, there wasn't much open in Huntington, West Virginia, on the Fourth of July. Be warned Fat Patty's is on the Burger GPS -- but there is also no review and no guide as to what you should order should you partake. I'll have to say, Fat Patty's should not dissuade you from visit to Huntington. It's a beautiful little city where the river meets the hills, with plenty of character/characters and wonderful hospitality. Next time I fully intend on hitting up Tooter's and avoiding the Marshall campus altogether (if that's possible). And now for the scoring:

Atmosphere - There wasn't much. I do think this place is probably legendary on Marshall Thundering Herd game days. There are plenty of worthless beers on tap and pictures of Heaven's Herd starring at your from all directions. The decor is pure Green and White -- with the typical sports bar woodshed fixtures keeping patrons either claustrophobic or drinking away their misery. This place must have a history (it's right next to the stadium), but I couldn't find much. It's certainly isn't because of the food.

Burger - I was told to order the "famous" Pretzel Burger, which was basically just an average grill burger served on a pretzel bun with bland honey mustard. There was no seasoning to the burger and the novelty of the bun being a pretzel did little to cover that up. I wasn't asked how I wanted my burger cooked, so I'm thinking the standard is medium well, probably to cover up the sub-quality of the taste. Perhaps I'm being too harsh. I definitely ate the massive thing and got home in one piece, but I was ashamed to drag two families down the street for this.

+2.2

Hype - There was a hype to Fat Patty's. Our hosts had heard many things about it and didn't seem that thrilled with the place either. Still, I was finding plenty of evidence on the internet and the aforementioned Burger GPS that people loved the stuff. It's also a bit off the beaten path unless you are in Huntington with nothing else to do (again, try Tooter's Biscuit World or Hillbilly Hot Dogs), so travelling just for this is out of the question.

+1.3

Twin Sister In Dreams on Bad Street

2011-08-02T01:44:00.000-05:00

When I talked with Twin Sister late last year and subsequently saw them mesmerize the worst venue in Columbus, I had extremely high hopes that their debut would be a perfect mix of progressive soft-rock and neo-roller-rink blip-pop. Of course, most of the buzz orbits around the group's chanteuse Andrea Estrella. For good reason, not only is she a doll, she truly embodies the music that surrounds in her magnetic coo. But the band in tow is equally magic as evidenced our first taste from In Dreams, "Bad Street." It's the perfect evolution beyond the whimsical "Around and Away We Go," showing an increase in electronic arrangements, in songwriting, adding extra limbs and extra ambition that has resulted from an increased maturity -- or possibly freezing with each other in a Long Island studio until suddenly thawing out in the spring. "Bad Street" was made for summer though, and shown in this very cinematic representation of the song, it's a jam for all-day backyard parties, complete with pinatas, grilling out, and sparklers. Who says nostalgia can't sound (and look) this fresh?

Unknown Mortal Orchestra and the R-Future Pop Fetish

2011-07-26T02:25:00.001-05:00

It seems there have been plenty of (especially Scandinavian and Australian bands, no stereotype mind you) bands who exist in a time vacuum -- Tame Impala, Dungen, the Hives, Cut Copy, Wolf People -- perpetually unwilling to admit to cribbing New Order or Cream or the New Bomb Turks or Jethro Tull for sonic ignition. But there are few who fully take from it, absolutely accepting that things like the synthetic heartbeats of '90s hip-hop and the dusty psych circus of Sgt. Pepper's could assemble the perfect album. Ruban Nielson, and his Unknown Mortal Orchestra could be mistaken for an offshoot of the Elephant Six (they did allow the British-led Minders into the fold -- and Beulah was from the West Coast, so UMO is plausible) but it's all very future-forward. Compelling in the album's adherence to the rhythm. It wasn't until I interviewed Nielson that I realized it was all constructed of some great riffs and a bevy of samples intricately woven. But we're in a new age -- one where this couldn't have been done on four-track, but doesn't sound a digital nightmare -- and it might just be the first truly psychedelic record that can list Garageband in the thank you credits. That said, it's effervescent pop music. A Retro-Futurist flare-gun shot across the frontier. You can name-check a flurry of groups -- even the Avalanches come to mind -- but it doesn't inhibit Nielson's penchant for a good hook. Hooked for Summer. Easily one of the year's finest. Here's a video.

Burger Tour 2011: Swenson's

2011-07-26T02:07:00.011-05:00

Last Summer it was the Cincinnati Chili Quest. And besides missing out on Blue Ash Chili (which I intend to ascend before August is out) – I believe, by your readership that it was a success. So the foodstuffs programming has become a priority for W.O.W. Now? We enter the world of the Mom and Pop Burger Tour. Yes, I admit that much of my ongoing Burger Tour has been wholly inspired by George Motz’s excellent Hamburger America book and the accompanying Hamburger GPS iPhone application, but being from Ohio, I am in a fairly perfect centrality to much of America’s hamburger origin.

I plan to make this Tour much more extensive than the Chili Quest, if only because I intend of venturing outside of the Ohio borders to evaluate the many genre of hamburgs. Therefore, Burger Tour, in direct inspiration from the excellent Pizza Slayer will have a “fair and balanced” metric to determine whether a burger pilgrimage was worth the effort. Though we thought we could just measure the quality of these burgers with “pickles” (Adam’s ideas), here are my determined criteria:

History/Tradition/Current Atmosphere

(Has it stood the test of time? Does the charm enhance the experience?)

The Burger

(How does it taste compared to the myriad American burgers?)

The Hype

(Was it worth the trip? Does it hold up to the hype?)

I fully intend to rank these burgers in a critical light, not unlike albums reviewed on P4K.

So that assumes that the ultimate burger is a perfect 10.0 -- should that be possible among the myriad American burgers.

Swenson's

658 E. Cuyahoga Falls Avenue

Akron, Ohio
(8.4)

The Hamburger GPS was what initiated by Burger Tour. Driving home from my first trip to New York City this year -- I consulted the application for a place to eat lunch in Akron. I knew by the depth of history, that you can easily just see from the interstate, there would be something worth stopping for in Akron. Little did I know about the wonder of Swenson's.

Though the car-hop motif has been a staple for a very long time -- Swenson's has been serving their double-deckers since 1934 -- and this drive-in has been here for almost 50 years. I imagine nothing has changed. The "servers" literally sprint from car to car, depending on your headlights being on or off, to serve you. It got a little confusing for me because I ordered "to-go" burgers, but they were always grateful and friendly to be doing what they were doing everyday.

I ordered the Galley Boy. It won a Food Feud on some network a few months back -- and they were certainly correct (though I have yet to have a Skywae). I'm not sure if the Big Boy came before the Galley Boy or not, but they were similar. A special sauce (similar to tartar) on a double decker thin pounded cheeseburger. Everything was assembled to accent concentration of flavor. It was a masterpiece.

Atmosphere -- Though I encountered 4 separate servers within the time I was there, and the delivery was much longer than anticipated, but everyone was friendly, the surroundings were very Akron-centric (worn to a quaint character) and the restaurant looked and operated as if it were an institution in the community for years.

2.4

Burger - This is the best double-decker I have ever encountered. Swenson's is setting the bar high for this genre -- and I've been to Frisch's a million times all over the world at this point. The Big Boy is only a memory.

3.5

Hype - Swenson's was easily accessible off the interstate. In fact you can face the interstate while you eat from your car if you want. Any trip to Cleveland, Akron, or Canton -- or a travel farther East, should include a stop at the many Swenson's locations in North East Ohio. Though I can probably vouch that the North Akron location is the most authentic (correct me if I'm wrong). Most people I've met from this area agree with the Food Network's assumption that Swenson's tops Skywae in the double decker department. Most people from the area swear by Swenson's. So it was certainly worth the trip and worth the hype.

2.6

Not only am I following the path of the Burger GPS, but I'm taking your suggestions. K's in Troy -- is NOT on the Burger GPS, so that's a perfect example of how Motz is negligent of knowing them all.

The Garfield Ride?

2011-07-26T00:43:00.000-05:00

It Exists. Lebanon Outlet Mall. When did John Davis sign off on this one? Couldn't some theme park in America have a Garfield World? I Hate Mondays.

Journey to Centralia: Spring Break Edition

2011-07-26T00:42:00.000-05:00

Centralia, Pennsylvania is a “town” I’ve wanted to visit for quite a while now. Of course “town” is Centralia’s parenthetical reality, because there’s nothing really there – yet once there was a thriving community in the hills dependent on the anthracite coal underneath. I’ll spare the details of how Centralia came to be what is now, you can read extensively about the history of the underground mine fire or watch this informative, if somewhat romantic documentary of the youngest “citizen” of the “town” (whom I don’t believe lives there now). Some refer to Centralia as a “ghost town,” and being that Centralia has gone from a population of 1,600 in the ‘70s to a scant one-hand’s worth of lifers there when I visited in May of 2011, that description is not apt because there’s not even the spectral evidence that a town was even there. All that’s left are dead-end roads and street signs, a few steps leading to nowhere and a graveyard (where the Centralia lifers – even those who die elsewhere – go to rest forever). The houses that remain sit dull and stubborn.

On this day you can see that the fog (or maybe sulfur smoke from the belly of the subterranean inferno) was so dense, Centralia appeared an apocalyptic wasteland – pure Mad Max scorched earth. In the two hours I spent exploring the “town” I didn’t make contact with another person. I walked the deserted streets trying to piece together just how Centralia was laid out – up on the hill was a stately church, the vicinity around the intersection of Route 61 and 42 was the “town’s” most densely populated “neighborhood,” the tear in the earth where the fire is worst was obviously a grand park leading back into the Pennsylvania wilderness which surrounds Centralia and no doubt shielded it from the world at large. Driving through the hills leading up to Centralia – taking 61 North from Interstate 76 – you can see how Central Penn. (or for that matter all of the Rust Belt) has suffered for lack of industry, for lack of interest in keeping these communities alive.

Each little mountain town, sealed off from the next, became more quaint, and somewhat more hopeless the closer I drove towards Centralia. The final few miles between Ashland (another recommended stop, if only to see the Whistler’s Mother Statue) were as desolate and lonely as they come. There was an Omega Man scent in the air. It was nearly a meditative journey – finding a centre in nothingness or humanity’s void/mistake. Then again, I might have endured carbon monoxide poisoning sticking my head in gaseous gapes in the earth. It was early May and already the foliage was booming – moss at every rock, some glowing with incandescent greens. Are there really no experiments with this soil? Of course there are conspiracy theories. The mineral rich ground below Centralia is the key to our energy crisis – and the government knew about years ago. Prompting a fire, prompting health concerns, prompting panic (as a boy is eaten by the overgrowth) and then prompting a mass evacuation of small town America.

It’s a nice (let’s say intriguing) place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live (within 150 miles of) there.

Contact me, should you want a travelogue -- it's a very easy trip travelling between NYC and Ohio.

The New Psychedelic Horseshit (For Now)

2011-07-15T11:03:00.000-05:00

In the midst of recording and creating and spanning time -- Matt Horseshit has recruited a new member, who Wednesday night was responsible for manning strangled guitars, rhythm guitars, and Casio-control. When the three of them all lurch over their stations, it gets incredibly real. I think Matt was just trying his best to top the transcendent Gang Gang Dance show from the night before. "It's a competition." This is likely the line-up you'll see when the band hits the road with a brief stint with the Swirlies.

Cairo > Being a Cubs Fan...

2011-06-30T14:59:00.001-05:00

Originally intended for publishing, June 10th, 2011. ol' news.

....and so the Reds' season goes. Finding absolute joy in a two-game winning streak, whilst wearing the (limited edition of 3) "Cairo is greater than" shirt with general pride and hope on a normal Tuesday. And what happens? Mr. Miguel, starts at 3B (a normalcy this week) and drives a Grand Slam (only his second) to the upper deck. I'm sure in his 16 professional years in the MLB that was likely his greatest moment in a baseball uniform. He didn't hit his other GS during his only World Series appearance (though he did bat over .290 in 26 post-season ABs), so I'm imagining this was a renaissance moment at the very least. He has been hitting .290 in two years with the Redlegs as Mr. Utility.

....and so the Reds' season goes. I picked up Homer Bailey, again, as he's set to get off the DL after some Louisville love. Hope it all works out. I'm carefully optimistic. Just never seems to have the luck there

....and so the Reds' season goes. As of today, 6/30/11, the Reds are only 5 games out and well into a division battle -- even when panic set last week. We are safe. For now. Didn't the Counting Crows write a song called "Long June" or something like that? We'll see.

Pink Reason "Blossoms" in the Garden

2011-06-30T14:57:00.000-05:00

I almost wish after the release of Shit in the Garden, Kevin Failure, the man behind Pink Reason decided to drop the Failure. This is not failure -- in any stretch of the imagination. Not that he has to return to the birth-surname of DeBroux (though that's a luxurious last name), but something that doesn't express such....despair. After my extensive Agit-Interview with Kevin Failure (believe me, this only half of the length we talked) it sounded like a clearing. Listening to SITG over and over -- there sounds like a clearing. And not that there was ever a reason to take it personal, and bum-out on the bummer vibe of his first epic release, but Cleaning the Mirror was never a record you sat around a listened to during Happy Hour with chum at your side. You didn't have to literally take it personal, but you have to (usually)listen to the thing in late-night isolation.

SITG? I can suggest it to relatives. I can link it to jangly sides from the '90s from bands like the Swirlies or the '80s like the Wipers...or Nirvana even, whose Cobain would likely name-check both bands in 1994. This has become especially true in the last week or so, when Debroux has taken it upon himself to get the music to the people, on the stage. Gaining Matt Horseshit (on guitar), Rich Horseshit (on drums), and Shawn (a TV Ghost defector), in the course of a few days, and directly forming two Columbus shows out of the rag-tag bunch was a huge step for the record. Monday night at Carabar was a bit awe-inspiring. It was all of SITG and then some....lumbering on as Pink Reason songs tend to do, but in that hypno-chugging a whirlwind of psych-skree emerging from the once tepid ether. Fully Engaged. As you can see in this video, for what is perhaps the crowning moment (so far) for DeBroux, "Sixteen Years."

Takoyaki vs. Takoyaki: Fresh Street Be the Victor

2011-06-02T10:30:00.015-05:00

When the warm weather arrived again and it was announced that the creators/artisans responsible for the Foodie Cart would no longer be making crepes along the streets of Clintonville and beyond – it sent shockwaves among the Columbus culinary community….or it at least disappointed the handful of faithful who treated their food as manna from the gods. It was soon made clear by the couple that they weren’t quitting in the slightest, they were just moving to a more permanent location, and trying their hand at making takoyaki. Takoyaki is a traditional Japanese street food consisting of pancake balls usually filled with boiled octopus and topped with numerous condiments befitting this taste sensation. Compared to the Bulgagi Cheesesteak crepes I was used to, I thought this might be a hard sell for the Foodie Cart. I’m sure people thought the same when calamari or pork belly started becoming menu staples. Now christened Fresh Street, I had no reason to doubt their prowess on the foodie scene here in Columbus. And in the months following their opening at their High Street location they’ve expanded their menu to include various okonomiyakis, soba, and even flavored “snow cups” (their desserts were always their best kept secret). Again, I can’t stress enough how anything you order from the Fresh Street dynamic duo is sure to be a treat – but for now, if you’ve yet to try the takoyaki, that should be your first order of business.

But in order to compare/contrast I had to try a takoyaki stand that has stood the test of time. Otafuku. This Manhattan closet of a restaurant in the East Village is likely the most authentic takoyaki one can procure in North America – at least on this side of the Mississippi (the west coast Japanese population has been serving up takoyaki for a while now). The Freshstreet duo has taken great pains to make their shed as quaint and charming and convenient as Otafuku. The presentation is the same, six takoyaki balls tucked into a bamboo boat, topped with bonito flakes and an assortment of other choices. At Otafuku I did not get a choice – it was bonito and a hot sauce similar to sriracha. At Fresh Street it’s called “mom sauce” and it comes in addition to things like dried seaweed, wasabi mayonnaise, and kimchee. I love the choices, something that is a trademark of the Foodie Cart/Fresh Street brilliance. It’s a constantly changing course for them, each and every day. Even their take on the traditional takoyaki has been altered to include sausage and veggie options of those lovely fried pancake balls, usually stuffed with octopus. So – in comparison to an “original” such as Otafuku, Fresh Street absolutely rules. Then again, the hometown/accommodating atmosphere the Fresh Street duo can provide in Columbus is also the reason it has not become as standard fare as Otafuku. And if you think you will be missing out on the artistry that came with the crepe making, there’s a dexterity involved in rolling the takoyaki on a custom grill that has to be seen to be believed. This is not something just anyone can do. A must – at least once a week – for anyone who calls this city home.

Rebo's Remembered: Chapter One

2011-05-15T00:36:00.005-05:00

Above is what remains of REBO’S. Everyone who is passionate about music has a place where they cut their proverbial teeth, and for me, REBO’S was that place. Sure impromptu REC dances after football games (I never watched) headbanging to Metallica’s “One” or giving it my best New Jack Swing to Bobby Brown were a touchstone, and the occasional VFW show (which were always something of a joke) were perhaps my first taste of unadulterated decadence, but weekend nights at REBO’S were the stuff you could later use for the coming-of-age scenes in your Richard Linklater/Cameron Crowe-directed biopic. Growing up in Troy, Ohio, there was certainly a dearth of places to see live music. The aforementioned venues were more or less, contained and sterile, no alleyways and baseball diamonds to sneak away and indulge (whatever that means at 14). REBO’S, as I can remember (fill in the blanks), was started as a SOBER (spell REBO’S backwards) place for an aging rocker and recovering alcoholic to keep his dreams alive – without imbibing. It was a mere 7 blocks, only three if I was spending the night on Crawford St. (where Kentucky Fried Monkey was birthed), so you could say the access was ideal for a curious teenager.

Three things taken away from me before the end of 10th Grade:

A bloodied white Jane’s Addiction T-shirt, worn at a GWAR show and signed (with multiple obscenities – “I sucked Sleazy till cum came out my nose”) by the band.

Deicide T-shirt purchased at Headquarters in New Carlisle, Ohio. The back read – “The End of God, The Way it Must Be.”

A cassette copy of the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ Blood Sugar Sex Magick – my mother embarrassingly made me return it to Tape Town in the Piqua Mall after being confronted with the album’s Parental Advisory sticker in the J.C. Penny’s women’s section.

REBO’S regrettably didn’t stay SOBER for long. Union St. was usually lined with cars by 10 PM, the crowd mix was high school degenerates and post-high-school degenerates – those hanger-ons who shouldn’t be mingling with pre-pubescent, but then again, what the hell was going on in Troy, Ohio at the time. This was a SOBER club, so no booze, no foul. Those cars were the havens, as was the small park out on that “other side of the tracks” suburban neighborhood. REBO’S was on the edge geographically, the spit off whatever class a town like Troy, Ohio had established. There was a reason the shack sat cornered to a gravel pit. I suppose that’s where the romanticism of the place stems from. It was a Lil’s Rascals-boys-club right-of-passage gate -- a place where fake acid was dealt, cheap alternatives like butane and nitrous were commonplace, and the dirtiest of weed was smoked through soda cans. Those “highs” though, were secondary to the music. That’s why you were there. Right?

Somehow I managed to keep my G.G. Allin tapes and my Carcass videos under wraps.

Only in old age am I trying to get a nostalgic totality to the surrounding environment. Asking questions like – Who was the family that maintained a functioning (and always lo-fi frightening) cardboard Haunted House on or near Crawford? Whatever happened to “Crazy Mary” (the townie colliqual for the sweet old woman, who would pay for her paper in silver quarters, who hung children’s toys in her trees)? What the hell was really going on back there on Union St.? – is futile now. I’d need to spend months in Troy, as a modern archeologist, uncovering through stories. Because now, the ‘hood is sparingly there in this history I’m trying to remember. REBO’S was failed experiement but full of good vibes. Here I plan to try my best to remember it. Further chapters will try to fill in the blanks. So – if you were a member of Malediction or Liquid Legbone or Gallow’s Humor or Your Flesh or Throttle or Shift or Scorched Earth Policy or Cigarhead – please get a hold of me through this outlet (with stories, music, pictures, baubles and trinkets). There’s certainly more to tell – and we’re not even close to the point where REBO’S moved to a desolate outpost leaps from Medway and a desperate drive-in.

E-mail me or post here. Indulge me. I want to believe.

Never did receive those GWAR swords Chris ordered through the mail.

The Trespass Soundtrack Trumps its Peers

2011-05-15T00:36:00.000-05:00

There are fewer anomalies in 1993 than the Trespass Soundtrack. And I don't consider you, as the regular World of Wumme (or Bo Jackson) reader , to know this. Trespass was post the New Jack City/Boyz N' the Hood zeigeist and pre Judgement Night/Lollapalooza miscegenation of rock and hip-hop that would eventually submerge Alternative Nation. Trespass wasn't even at a crossroads, there were no metal invites here. The crossover came more in the coupling of pure (whitebreed) action movie, with the hyperextended pulse of hip-hop culture at the time. The movie starred Bill Paxton and William Sadler -- but also introduced Ice Cube and Ice-T (the royal ices) as legitimate film stars (this, after their big breakthroughs). I can't say I remember the movie being that remarkable, but in retrospect, the soundtrack was signature of that year, and completely caught a moment that only come during that summer.

As stated, the Trespass soundtrack did not bridge the East Coast and the West Coast (it was even before that conflict manifested) and instead leaned towards the East Coast's harder, more minimal side, while retaining the dirty funk that had started to blossom in Califorinia. The Fun Funk. There are two sides to this -- probably most felt in Ice-T's "Depth's of Hell." Ice-T has always been one for low-level blasts, but here, post-Colors, he becomes even more vicious. This might even be his best effort (reggae aside) since the early days. On the opposite side of the spectrum is Public Enemy,who's "Gotta Do What I Gotta Do," is particularly West Coast in it's wiggle -- the Terminator X solo is a wonderful freestyle against the implied grain of the film.

I need to see how this all fits with the film -- because there's a huge contrast throughout this compilation. There's the little known Penthouse Players Clique (a Ruthless Records super-group) and W. C. (a personal favorite and Bo Jackson HOF member) vs. heavy-hitters like Gang Starr and Lord Finesse. Pure contrast throughout. But the oddest inclusion here is Black Sheep. They contend a pre-Low End Theory, lo-end beat, Mingus/Thinking-Man hip-hop that sounds foreign in the realm of unknowns on this, the Trespass soundtrack. Go Buy.

Psychedelic Horseshit Present Shitty Sundays...

2011-05-15T00:01:00.000-05:00

And these Shitty Sundays are beyond the climax of the release of Laced, the eventual follow-up to the modern masterpiece, Magic Flowers Droned. Shitty Sundays, which can be found in their entirety here, are merely a continuation to Laced. The future, before we even reach it. The guy (Mr. Horseshit) writes songs (has grand ideas) as we consume. Laced is already the past. Very much the past.

....but, we need to first talk about Laced. There have been enough PHS recordings released to fill two full records, but, Mr. Horseshit is never content. And even if Laced sounds complete, and sounds like a complete metamorphosis, it's the past.

You can see it in Matt Horseshit's irenic interviews, his increased awareness in Laced's game-changing aesthetics, the "see I told you so" attitude that is embedded in every groove of this record. "I Hate the Beach," which was born years ago, explains it all. In this one song PHS are finally imagineering the sonic theme park the band has always wanted to frolic about. There are cascades of waves overbearing simple riffs, cliffs, valleys, and craggy caves of reverb, jungles of static, apocalypse dancefloors, ambient cloud farms, and antidemocratic synapses in the collective mind of the underground music listener. Is this real life? I can't recommend your purchase of this album enough. Shitty Sundays, however, are free.

Times New Viking -- Dispatch from Europe

2011-05-14T23:49:00.000-05:00

It gets really lonely around Columbus when the kids are on tour. While Dancer Equired Day has come and gone, the kids remain in Europe. Far away from the misinformed and genuinely nasty reviews and those who actually understand where this album is coming from. Of course there's bias in my opinion, and certainly my voice here, but I truly feel like this is evolution for the band. And Merge is a new beginning. But who knows? Hopefully they are tearing it up live in Europe, like they'll do here for another two months, starting next week.

Above is a video, acoustical, right off the airplane, rendition of one of the album's golden hits. And below is there appearance on Marc Riley's (he of Fall guitar fame) BBC Radio Show. Click on both to experience.

TNV's Live Quiz and Performance on Marc Riley.

I Like Racing Cars

2011-05-14T23:37:00.001-05:00

My attempt at starting my own version of Videogum -- and/or random things I pick up with my phone's camera. This commercial runs at least twice a day whilst I have my morning coffee. I'm not sure how "racing cars" equate with delicious "tacos" and "cheeseburgers." Is this funny or not?

Cold Cave - Cherish the Light Years

2011-05-14T23:37:00.000-05:00

It's my opinion that Wes Eisold from Cold Cave takes himself and his music a bit too seriously. Just read the interview I did with him last month. I had a hard time not chuckling during most of our conversation. Cherish the Light Years is a great album, no doubt. It would be that much better were you to listen to this as pure candy. Remember Pitty Sing about 5 years ago?

SuperMoon?

2011-03-20T19:54:00.000-05:00

I've seen bigger moons. Montevideo, Uruguay, January 2004.

But for Lil' Vegas, Columbus, OH -- this will do on a Saturday night. Gravitational Pull.

Beyond the Emerald Necklace

2011-03-20T19:52:00.000-05:00

Slowly but surely the cloak of invisibility is being lifted from the truth at the heart of Emeralds. This wonderful short feature from Vice/VBS.tv tracks the bands from their inner synth-pimped lairs out to the inspirational valley which inspired the trio's name. It's a "heavy zone," indeed. Great to see Emerald's Teutonic ascension as something humbling to the band rather than an excuse to start purporting ego and lay claim to their deserved domination of new psychedelia. Instead they still sound hungry, reaching beyond through advanced compositions and less unhinged jam -- though in the live show it's "different every time." Emeralds probably wouldn't be as special were they a band who were never (somewhat) anonymous -- or always touring two-bits for mercy applause and free beer -- instead they still experiment endlessly, headphones intact, and prefer the festivals of Europe where they might actually learn something. That said, an expansive, multi-media, headlining tour is now in order.

Married Life Quarterly - The "Music" Edition

2011-03-16T20:33:00.001-05:00

Married Life isn't as much one of the Midwest's most informative underground 'zines, as it is more a diary of Mark Van Fleet's (and his wife Jen's) frequent home improvements. At least that's how each issue starts. Maybe with some jokes, some illustrations, then it move onto the meat. Regular column's like Van Fleet's reviews after a visit to the Columbus Public Library's vast CD collection, or bands commenting on every member who has retired from said band (the Psychedelic Horsehit issue is a keeper) or commenting on said band's entire discography.

It's probably apt to mention that Mark twilights in Sword Heaven and Providien (among other musical endeavors). I highly recommend picking up a copy of Followed By a Wraith.

But back to Married Life -- it only gets better - this quarter's issue includes a recording direct from a tape Van Fleet found in a Washington Beach dumstper. It's been lovingly named Washington Beach Blues by those who have heard it. Compltely anonymous and brimming with the type of music you might consider from Jim Shepard's neighbors (two doors down/underground) -- it's a rarefied release you can only get with the actual 'zine. You can read all of the content here. but to get the physical disc, you'll probably have to beg to the address below:

Married Life Quarterly
607 Midgard Rd. Columbus, Ohio 43202.

The Rise and Fall of Lykke Li....?

2011-03-16T20:14:00.000-05:00

Two years ago at SXSW, seeing Lykke Li plow the indie buzz circuit three times in three days, I was mesmerized. Not only by the diva-cum-wildly eccentric talent she displayed in those numerous, light of day (hangover), time-slots, but by the backline of equally talented Swedes who gave her support. For some reason, it doesn't appear they are anywhere on Wounded Rhymes, as there's no spontaneity in this recording. Maybe I'm being too harsh, because there are some moments I would revel in currently, were I to see her live. I'm sure. But, I suppose I wanted something more. Something that could rival Bjork's Post. Oh well. Here's my review, and I'm sticking to it.

Rlly Tho. Hipster Runoff sums it up best.

Is C.S. Yeh at SXSW? He Should Be...

2011-03-16T20:03:00.000-05:00

C.S. Yeh, or C. Spencer Yeh, or Burning Star Core, or however you know him has never been heard like this. His latest 7” for De Stijl, modestly stamped with his mug in 3-D colors, and unassumingly released with the shortened moniker, contains two of the more enlightening pop songs you’ll hear all year. Rumor has it Yeh is much more a fan of radio gaga than he is the avant-garde, though it’s capable to love both with equal affinity – so this single makes complete sense. “In the Blink of an Eye” begins as a brittle, tempered take on Television (were they Verlaine’s secret demos) but soon begins to roll into a character that more resembles Bowie post-punk-(Tin Machine)-glam swagger (were he to actually make intriguing electronic music in the ‘90s). Yeh shows his sonic prowess here, putting most bedroom dancefloor “visionaries” to shame in one song. Bradford Cox beware. This isn’t Spector-Vision, yet “In the Blink of an Eye” contains all of the evolving elements of a Top 40 hit stranded in time.

Deeper, and much more telling is “Condo Stress,” Yeh’s downer dinner ballad. The grand piano loneliness immediately conjures Leon Russell or Randy Newman – though Yeh might be going for Lou Reed alone with his thoughts. Keep in mind, this is if Scott Walker decided to loan his shadow. Yet there is chintz to the way it plays on the turntable. It’s an instant standard. Something that could flip at a Waffle House or a Supper Club through infinity. Do you get where I’m getting at. Yeh’s brief and glorious mocking of his own secret fantasies to be a pop songwriter equate to one of the best singles I’ve heard in this young decade. I’m a Burning Star Core-nerd like anyone else, but let’s cheer that Yeh gives us an album of his fever dreams.

Go Buy One.

March Madness

2011-03-12T15:51:00.001-05:00

Already. Basketball Tourney Overload. Evil Digger. #gobucks #teachmehowtosully Out of Memory.

Times New Viking - On the Road Again

2011-03-12T15:13:00.000-05:00

Leave it to the kids to give another beautifully composed "film" to promote Dancer Equired's April release. It's nice in showing Times New Viking as hometown children, still nostalgic while pushing the envelope with their songcraft and artistic representation. The highlights include a trip to K's Hamburgers in the Square of Troy, a visit to Mr. Phillip's parents in New Lebanon (home of the Haunted Caves), and a final tipple in Musicol's Studio A. Well worth your viewing. Plus, new songs -- a batch the kids are already beyond. They've been reported recording even more songs for an Autumn release of some sort. Video comes courtesy of NPR's All Songs Considered, with a simple description and notes from the band.

Make sure to check them out if you're in Austin -- or gearing up to see Wild Flag (who they're supporting the next two weeks).

The Lazy Music Group

2011-03-12T14:44:00.001-05:00

Little did I know, prior to researching the history of Cincinnati's long-lost Lazy, Steve Schmoll conceived his trio out of the ashes to Pink Lady a (Dayton?) band that included Braniac mastermind Tim Taylor (are there recordings of this?). It all makes sense now. I knew that Lazy bore resemblance to Brainiac -- I saw the band numerous times throughout my salad days -- and were borne in the wave that spread from the Miami Valley down to the Ohio River -- but I never knew there was direct lineage. Listening to The Lazy Music Group (I'm in need of their debut, Some Assembly Required) the band was more than just a branch of Brainiac or a heftier Miss May '66 (from which bassist Kari Murphy was plucked), Scmoll carved very unkempt pop songs out of a Sonic Youth/Pixies/Beat Happening axis, re-imagined as a Midwestern punk trio buzzing in girl/guy dynamics. Thanks to the Afghan Whigs ubiquity among Alternative Nation, Cincinnati had a reputable slew of bands showcased beyond Ohio's borders -- Ass Ponys, Throneberry, the Tigerlillies, and the Wolverton Bros. all were making great records at the time. Lazy made two albums for Roadrunner Records (the same label which now brings you Slipknot and Rob Zombie), but in clicking that link you'd never know the band ever existed on the label (even though they were initially signed up to do many records). Surely, in retrospect, it's probably reasonable to believe that dealings with Roadrunner were a bane on the band, and led to their eventual disappearance in the late '90s. Schmoll could probably tell a yarn about the horrors of major labels and how they devoured "alternative" groups from the Heartland only to abandon them 24 months later. I'd love to hear it.

I would care less if Lazy's brief spark was as flippant and unformed as I remember. In re-hearing those early singles and their sophomore record, the Lazy Music Group, I realized I hadn't heard enough. And even if Lazy were likely more tied to Dayton and Columbus than I remember, I always placed them on the perimeter of what I was loving as a teenager. Despite the album's cringe-worthy cover (emblematic of the cutesy "let your friends design your album cover" indie rock aesthetics of the time) the Lazy Music Group is a consistently engaging record during an age when, as Ron House is known to quote, "most of these bands should only be putting out singles." Much like the songwriting style of his peers (namely Tim Taylor and John Schmersal) Shmoll used more punk than art, more pop than dissonant crackle, a somewhat laconic slacker vibe wrapped in occasional barbed wire or grrlie attitude. At times, as on "Cut It," Lazy could be mistaken for Brainiac, were they demoing skeletons stripped of synth and Moog. Then again "What I Need" is Lazy's Cars-esque new-wave answer to Brainiac's "Radio Apeshot." What distinguishes Schmoll from the pack is a song like "Cheery Smash" -- a tender moment on the record, indolent and breathy, reminiscent of the best dream-pop of the era, but still warped in the middle when Scmoll's guitar shards blast through the haze. Murphy and drummer, Megan Haas, work in tandem with Schmoll, leading the Royal Trux funk of "Cinderella" and the spunky Runaways/Breeders "last dance" track.

Though they provided a variety, the trio was usually tethered at the ankles, finishing each other's phrases, living in their own little punk world. This gave the music an ambiguity in both the lyrics and the sonics which found them focused more on the energy and catharsis that came with their songs. Angsty and brittle? Sure. But Lazy was a colorful diversion, or simple accompaniment, to the massively disparate, yet wholly united, triangle of hope between Dayton, Columbus, and the river-rat dregs of Cincinnati.

If you can point me in the direction of other Lazy records -- whether digital or physical -- I'm interested.

WexStone

2011-03-12T13:06:00.000-05:00

Unfortunately more gratifying than the Akron/Family. #nationaltreasure

K-Holes -- Gearing for that Particular Moment...

2011-03-11T00:10:00.001-05:00

Admittedly used to be a "surf" rock cover band - since that genre has gone to pasture, yet another time -- and now they are reverb heaven, earnestly primal, shaman-punk. I would love to glean more on the

W.O.W. Top Film of 2010

2011-03-04T00:10:00.000-05:00

Given the flood of awful movies rushing into theaters during January and February, the 2010 Fim season doesn't really end until all of the Awards (not matter how punishing they may be -- for proof read our live blog of the Oscars) are handed out. In most cases those films clogging your multiplex today were slated for release in 2010, so I don't consider them contenders in the next phase of trophies and glamour and serious discourse. I feel it's cheating to compile a Top Ten list without seeing all the best picture nominees (check), the insightful array of documentaries (check), or those limited release sleepers (check, I think -- inspire me), before forming an informed opinion. After two months of tundra-esque winter, I can honestly say I'm caught up. Almost a week post Oscars no doubt. And with that, here is my belated (depending who you ask) list of the Top Ten Films of 2010. If you're unfamiliar with any of these, I highly suggest a rental (or at least go watch the trailer):

10. Piranha 3-D

I don't think I've ever had this much fun in the theater, and for that Piranha 3-D gets a spot. The schlock is never-ending once Richard Dreyfuss is sucked into a whirlpool of his own blood. There wasn't even a need for the three dimensions, but it added a certain cheapness to this carnival of exploitation.

9. How to Train Your Dragon

There's been lots of talk about Toy Story 3, and while I cried waterworks during that film, it didn't have the same sense of adventure and nostalgic mood provided by the character of Toothless. Vikings with Scottish accents, imaginative design and storytelling that never reduced to scatological humor (the dragons don't talk), and the 3-D is probably the best I've ever experienced. Here it's worth shelling out the extra money for the thrill. Comparisons to E.T. are apt, as this was extremely well-done among a year when the animated film gained even more cache.

8. The Fighter

Couple this with the also excellent The Town and Boston on celluloid becomes a caricature. But O'Russell and his amazing ensemble cast (the sisters make it) know how to underlie the Rocky ascension of the story with a thin layer of comedy -- from beginning to end. It does follow a lot of conventions familiar to these types of films, but knows full and well when it's following those conventions. If you've seen this, go beyond and YouTube as much of the "real" story as you can (the real fights, Dickey's harrowing crack documentary) and you'll soon understand, not only how accurate O'Russell is in portraying this family, but how intriguing it was for him to adapt to the screen.

7. Carlos, the Jackal

Probably the fastest 5 1/2 hours I've ever spent with a movie. Where Steven Soderberg made a beautiful mess out of his two-part Che epic last year, Olivier Assayas knows that in order to dissect these tragic, bigger-than-life, anti-heroes, you need to show the audience as much of the tall-tale as you can. Carlos is implicit in letting us know a lot of what happened was never confirmed, but regardless, Assayas takes us step by step through the Jackal's life -- never really allowing us to take a side either way until the third act when Carlos becomes a bloated, paranoid, version of the svelte, revolutionary we cheer for at the start.

6. Exit Through the Gift Shop

There are certain parts of me that wanted to include I'm Not Here - Joaquin Phoenix's faux-descent into career limbo -- but it was flawed, noticeably fake, and indulgent. Banksy's documented field-tape on his own discovery, and rise, and perpetually ingenious concealment, not only deserved best documentary this year, it deserved a nod for best picture in my opinion.

5. Winter's Bone

There's always a wonderfully beautiful and poignant aura around movies that capture life in our depressed heartland, even when the subject matter is downright grim. Winter's Bone never succumbs to exploitation of its characters -- there's no exaggerative performance from either of the leads, just a natural drift -- and it never caters to the audience as something hopeful. There are only glimpses of hope in Jennifer Laurence's lead. Neither too poetic nor voyeuristic, the movie strikes the exact nerve between the auteur and the harsh reality faced by the inhabitants of this microcosm of (rough) American lives.

4. Blue Valentine

Epic bummer -- exhibit 2. The title, Blue Valentine, should be taken literally. This is equal views of pure love constructed on a whim and what happens when that love comes crashing down, brick by brutal brick. You want to root for both Gosling and Williams, even though you know within minutes they survive in the definition of dysfunction. The "doomed marriage" motif has been used a million times over (and mostly equipped with some kind of happy ending, just watch the barely recognized Rabbit Hole from this year) but here it seems authentic, every ugly detail in place. This is not a date movie.

3. The Social Network

Yeah Yeah Yeah. It should'a won Best Picture. It should'a won Best Director. Regardless, all of the accolades and generational hyperbole thrown the way of The Social Network, won't stop it from being one of those perfect films you'll watch any time of day, no matter where you come into it, if only films like this were still rerun, edited, and played ad nausea on lazy Sunday basic cable. Regardless of your age, race, gender, or generally disposition as to whether or not Facebook is a "revolution" in human communication, the journey of Mark Zuckerberg is one filled with all the drama of a Shakespearian tragedy. Not a syllable of dialog is wasted, not an edit without purpose, each scene building to our current present. A present that I think will remain for an awful long while -- no matter the speed of technology. It may not be the Citizen Kane of the '00s, but it certainly is the zeitgeist and in the timeline of film history, there will be a marker forever noting this.

2. Black Swan

More proof that it was an amazing year for film (I could probably rattle off ten more films that narrowly missed this list). Black Swan, sans the Oscar for Natalie Portman, would have likely swept any lesser year. I'm beginning to think that Darren Aronofsky speaks a cinematic language that is much too profound and complex for Middle America. They'd much rather see Portman having casual sex with Ashton Kutcher, than Portman struggling through a harrowing psychosis usually reserved for a De Palma or Cronenberg flick. I saw glimpses of both Carrie and Dead Ringers throughout Black Swan. Yet, even as a double of the Black Swan's arc, Aronofsky's Black Swan breaks ground and melts faces using a considerably bourgeois and misunderstood art-form -- ballet -- as his template. Take into consideration that the Black Swan, despite the massive attention to detail and pomp Aronofsky put towards its creation, was a appetizer leading up to his epic undertaking trying to top The Dark Knight.

1. Dogtooth

Dogtooth is another film emblematic of the mass quality of 2010. With Dogtooth I'm not trying to be coy or elitist in my overall number one pick. It's truly that mesmerizing. It's that good. It has everything -- it will shock you, confuse you, make you cringe, make you laugh, and make you actually re-question those existential questions you've held onto since childhood. Giorgos Lanthimos' awkward suburban parable about a Greek couple who have sheltered their three teenage children from the outside world since birth is something I can legitimately recommend without any disclaimer. Yes, I previously lauded Dogtooth as "Herzog and Haneke bickering at the bottom of a cup of Fage yogurt," but please don't let that scare you off. At some point in your development as a youth, you experienced a moment from Dogtooth. I also said "absurd, but very believable," so there's that. There are plenty of absurd scenes (the children's vocabulary lessons spring to mind) and plenty too far out to mention in polite company, and still you are wrapped in the very real family drama being unwrapped here. Though completely foreign (both literally and metaphorically) to its Hollywood counterparts this year (and even among the Best Foreign Film nominees, except maybe Incendies) it stands alone. You will likely see an American remake and countless imitators looking for the right amount of kooky artistic elegance, but Dogtooth stands alone.

Live Bloggin' : The 2011 Academy Awards

2011-02-27T18:59:00.112-05:00

Due to overwhelming demand -- Terrence Russell Adams and myself will be live bloggin' the 2001 Academy Awards. I've turned in my ballot -- and I believe Terrence has as well -- so were just about ready to get started. Keep checking back here to see a real-time accumulation of our skewering on Facebook. If you want to join in the fun -- go ahead and comment. We're sure to post some outsider slogging.

TRA: Terrence Russell Adams
KJE: Kevin J. Elliott

(photos courtesy of Kristin Patton)

The fun begins at 8:30 PM EST.:

11:41 It's late, my local news is starting. I'll leave it with Terrence's zinger. Brilliant. Thanks everyone for joining us. I lost my pool.

‎11:40 Okay, okay. I can't do anything more. Anne Hathaway's unibrow and James Franco's contact buzz would like me to say goodnight. I gotta say, the win of the night was Randy Newman. Kevin, thanks again for putting on this little shindig. I'll see you at game 1 of the NBA Finals. - TRA

11:39 Oh for the love of god. Kids from Queens should know that there's nowhere over the rainbow. - TRA

11:38 They weren't all that happy with that win. They were no Arcade Fire... - KJE

11:35 SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE 2 WINS!!! HALLELUJAH!!! - TRA

11:35 What, no Tron: Legacy? - TRA

‎11:34 I would really prefer Winter's Bone or Black Swan here, but it's not going to happen. Listen to the voice over.... - KJE

11:33 Black Swan. Black. Swan. - TRA

11:32 Why they only show this catchy Spanish language McDonald's commercial during Awards ceremonies is beyond me. - KJE

‎11:28 It's really nice to see Shakespeare in Love 2 winning so much tonight. - TRA

‎11:26 Not one American understands a word Colin Firth is speaking right now. - KJE

11:26 UPSET! COLIN FIRTH! - TRA

11:24 Stoned Backstage. Brilliant Franco. - KJE

11:23 Eisenberg deserves it, but Colin Firth is gonna win it. Goddamn it. - TRA

11:22 He was also Starman. Win. - KJE

‎11:20 Ladies and gentlemen, Jesse James' wife...oh shit. - TRA

11:19 "Flub, Drink At Home" Brilliant Hathaway. - KJE

11:17 Shout out to Luc Besson. Okay, that's alright. - TRA

11:16 Natalie Portman, say something awkward and horrifying. - TRA

11:13 Yeah. Nicole Kidman is always a great actress. Rabbit Hole very underrated. But Jennifer Lawrence is Hollywood WOW. - KJE

‎11:12 Jeff Bridges is about ready to get real with these bitches. - TRA

11:08 Francis Ford Coppola, you fat piece of shit. - TRA

11:07 Annette Bening looks like somebody stuck her face in front of a jet engine. - TRA

11:03 Yup, Shakespeare in Love 2. Fucking travesty. - TRA

11:03 My ballot is toast now. - KJE

11:02 - @terrence. Exit Through the Gift Shop -- TNV pick. - KJE

11:00 Times New Viking, what is your Best Picture pick? - TRA

10:59 Where was Corey Haim? - KJE

‎

10:55 RIP DENNIS HOPPER - TRA

‎10:55 R.I.P. Blake Edwards. He'll be rolling in his grave soon with the premiere of Arthur with Russell Brand. - KJE

10:52 Find a pack of rabid gerbils, feed those gerbils to a pack of diseased tigers, have those tigers scratch a gaggle of poodles and have those poodles eat the entrails of Celine Dion. - TRA

10:52 I'd trade Hitler for Celine Dion. - KJE

‎10:48 Halle Berry Died? - KJE

10:47 Thank you Randy Newman. Thank you very much. - TRA

10:46 "This is my category motherfuckers. I own this bitch." Jared Phillips re: Randy Newman -- KJE

‎10:43 Florence is a fucking sell out man. Do more award shows, you HACK. - TRA

10:43 Thought we killed Florence and her Machine at the Grammys? Absolutely worse thing ever. - KJE

10:42 Franco is destroying tonight. I must say. - TRA

10:41 Roger Ebert called Jennifer Hudson a traffic cone. He tweets more than @timesnewviking. - KJE

10:36 The answer to that Billy Crystal/B.C. question is Family Circus. - TRA

10:36 Trudging through these categories is like trying to enjoy (the Decemberist). #obligatoryindieslam - KJE

10:33 Heroin. That's what I feel like I'm on right now. Lots and lots of really cheap heroin. - TRA

10:30 Bob Hope's corpse just did a back flip in his grave. - TRA

10:27 "Dude you were awesome in Tooth Fairy. Just throwing it out there." Adam. Which is funnier Billy Crystal or B.C. (the amusing daily comic strip) ? - KJE

‎10:27 Awwwww shit. Really? Billy Crystal? There's a man who stopped hosting the Oscars so that he could make appointments with his plastic surgeon. - TRA

10:22 Restrepo was the better documentary, but Inside Job was a quality film. - TRA

10:22 Speaking of soapbox.... - KJE

10:19 Oprah Winfrey is going to shoot lasers out of her minge. - TRA

10:19 Auto-Tuning the Oscars should be jumping the shark, but it was delightful. No w Oprah buying a soapbox? Gross. - KJE

10:16 He had me until he gave a shout out to the state of Delaware. That state should be sent out to sea on fire. - TRA

10:16 "Thanks to NYU Graduate Film Program." You'll be making short features ad nausea. - KJE

10:14 It's truly hard to make a joke about immigrant and refugee children. I'm trying, but I'm not Louis C.K. - KJE

10:14 And now, it's the Abbot and Costello of oscar winners. - TRA

10:06 Mandy, you've come a long way from "Candy." - KJE

10:05 Mandy Moore, Jared Phillips' secret lover. - TRA

10:03 Give it to Randy Newman, you bastards. You know why? Because if Dido wins an Oscar I have zero faith in mankind. - TRA

10:02 "Classy Move Obama." - Jared Phillips. Followed by Kevin Spacey. Fail - KJE

10:02 Obama is such a liar. He had It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp. - TRA

10:00 Well, she can read, so that's a plus. - TRA

9:57 Our movie was shitty, but we won best make-up. Tom Savini-wannabe. - KJE

9:54 I'd still unabashedly make out with Marisa Tomei. Twice. - KJE

‎9:55 "Congratulations Nerds." More Brilliant Franco. - KJE

9:52 If this wasn't for cancer, I'd make a crack about how Celine Dion deserves to be thrown into a dryer spin cycle. - TRA

9:50 Well, he is the Dick King, after all. Thank you, thank you very much. - TRA

9:49 Still no desire to see Tron:Legacy. Would rather watch Birdemic: Shock and Terror. - KJE

‎9:46 Scarlett, you look like a Thai hooker. - TRA

9:44 Mr. Self-Destruct. "I hope T-REZ fucks that Oscar like an animal." Adam Elliott - KJE

9:42 Also, Nicole Kidman's face is more immovable than the gay denial in Hugh Jackman's soul. - TRA

9:41 The Oscars are gonna have to blow George Lucas now. - TRA

9:41 We can totally cut out all of this "how music is made for movies" fodder. Can't Pauly Shore just give these awards from a hotel in Panama Beach? - KJE

‎9:40 Anne Hathaway's man hands will make you pray for death. - TRA

9:39 She doesn't seem that thrilled that the Academy Awards will be on ABC for the next 8 years. - TRA

9:35 Christian Bale with the evening's most decent acceptance speech. Outside of that "my wife is my mast" dick joke. - TRA

9:33 That beard. That beard should have its own zip code. - TRA

9:31 If anything from The Kids Are All Right wins, a small child will be beaten with a tennis racket. - TRA

9:29 And we're back. And here's this woman and her boobs. And here's Reese Witherspoon with her HAIR BACK AND FORTH. - TRA

‎9:27 Just glad my favorite film of 2010 -- Dogtooth -- was even nominated. - KJE

9:26 First Charlie Sheen joke -- Drink. - KJE

8:24 Trying to figure out why Hugh Jackman is the centre of focus tonight? Cuz the Oprah crash? - KJE

9:20 HIS FATHER SAID HE WAS A LATE BLOOMER!!!! BAHHH!!! GET IT?!?! CUZ HE'S FUCKING OLD!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. - TRA

9:18 Yeasayer in a Diet Coke commercial!!! - KJE

9:17 Only Mark Wahlberg could undersell an Oscar nominated script. - TRA

9:16 His acceptance speech is so dramatic. This category is becoming more predictable than BSA. - KJE

9:14 Aaron Sorkin wins! Which comes as a shock to absolutely to no one. - TRA

‎9:11 Was that Fancy Feast commercial or a preview of my life in purgatory. Christ. - TRA

9:10 If you are personally invested in Dancing With the Stars, you are a drug addict. - TRA

‎9:08 Is it too late to start shooting vodka into my veins? - TRA

9:06 I didn't see any of these movies. I must be honest. You might as well just FedEx these awards to the Pixar offices, though. - TRA

9:05 But HTTYD is in my Top Ten Films of the year. - KJE

‎9:04 Carol picked "The Lost Thing," I went with the Pixar lock. Thanks Pixar. I hope Toy Story 3 loses now, even if I did cry. - KJE

9:04 They also win the Oscar for height difference. Good lord. - TRA

‎9:01 "Congratu-f-ing-lations" -- Brilliant Franco. Nice Joke Timberlake. - KJE

8:59 Did she just get bleeped or was that my t.v.? - TRA
‎
8:58 David O'Russell's thoughts -- "I Fucking Hate This Woman." - KJE

8:56 Hugh Jackman isn't laughing, he's straining to understand you. - TRA

8:56 Me too. Hope they didn't pick the little girl for little girl's sake. - KJE

8:54 I have Melissa Leo for this one, but do I really care? No, no I do not. - TRA

8:54 Sadly, no one saw the wonderful Animal Kingdom. - KJE

‎8:52 THE WALKING DEAD!!! JESUS JUMPED UP CHRIST! GET BACK INTO YOUR GRAVE!! GAAHHH!!!! - TRA

8:51 Let's be honest. You'd rather see Charlie Sheen up there now. - KJE

8:47 Wally Pfister. Somebody lost the name raffle. - TRA

8:47 - Great name -- Wally Pfister. Vivid is calling him to be a cinematographer just to have his name in the credits. - KJE

8:45 I picked Alice, but didn't watch it. I think Burton has run out of children's dreams to ruin. - KJE

8:43 Titanic, fuck you sideways, you were one of the most brutal theater going experiences in my life. - TRA

8:41 Love how Franco is playing a little Daniel from Freaks and Geeks. - KJE

‎8:40 Whoever thought up this opening bullshit should be smacked in the face with a laserdisc copy of Switchblade Sisters. - TRA

‎8:37 I just remembered, the Oscars are perpetually BORING. Goddamnit. - TRA

8:36 Better than the last 5 years of SNL. - KJE

‎8:34 Okay, alright, this isn't too terrible. - TRA

8:32 Please be entertaining. - KJE

8:31 Okay, I just forgot how good Winter's Bone was. Anne Hathaway is already terrible. - TRA

‎8:26 Tom Hanks is the unfunny uncle that used to be cool but then had to stop drinking and smoking pot. - TRA

8:24 Halle Berry is an Ohio girl? Maybe that's why she has trailer park hair. - TRA

8:23 Hugh Jackman, you are gay. It's okay to admit it, it's the modern era. Only right wing assholes will judge you. - TRA

8:22 Jokes about ABC's cable of worthless programming is too easy. Body of Proof. Sorry Internet. - KJE

8:19 Adjustment Bureau? Mad Men with stupid hats and Matt Damon. FAIL. - TRA

8:18 The Adjustment Bureau = The Bourne Inception? - KJE

‎8:14 Gwyneth Paltrow, you look spotty and you're married to a terrible musician, but I still love you. - TRA

8:14 Gwyneth Paltrow is against the Avant-Garde and loves Jay-Z. - KJE

‎8:13 Ok. Now I can tell one of these women to shut their Rabbit Hole. She was in BMX Bandits though.

8:09 Whoever that guy wuz just gave away the whole thing. Do I have to watch this? Oh wait, unlike the Grammy's I actually enjoy the Oscars. - KJE

8:08 Yeah, I know it doesn't start until 8:30, but I don't give a shit. HEADS MUST ROLL. Also, who is this unbelievable douchemop talking right now? - TRA

8:06 Sandra Bullock Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. Jesse James R.I.P. - KJE

‎8:04 Franco is so blitzed right now.- TRA

‎8:02 Natalie Portman murdered Grimace. And yes, I know I recycled that joke from the Grammys. - TRA

8:01 Jennifer Hudson, I want to lay you down and make sweet love to you. Is that too much? - TRA

Here We Go:

Obligatory Psychedelic Horseshit Announcement

2011-02-24T23:58:00.000-05:00

Never understood why I sold my 2XLP of Agaetis Byrjun. I knew I would need it in reference one day. That day has come. Psychedelic Horseshit have signed to the venerable Fatcat Records UK. I've heard Laced -- and I can attest the superlatives I've given it (Kid A done by the Bomb Squad) are warranted. Matt Horseshit toiled away, cutting reel after reel after reel. Remixing and re-ducking back in the his perpetual drug den for inspiration -- paranoia taking hold only to increase the beats, the supersonic sound-collage, and the tender-loving, two-shy-of-"pretty," moments towards the spacey climax of this record. I'm thinking they've been blackballed by P4K, and ignored by Hipster Runoff (Matt Horseshit was Carles before Carles), because if any of these outlets had preview of Laced, it wouldn't matter if Psychedelic Horseshit dissed Ryan Schreiber's mother. As much as I enjoy Odd Future and the immense hype-load they've produced, Laced is something that could truly change perspectives.

Here's the official press release (via FatCat):

"Formed in Columbus, Ohio, in 2005, Psychedelic Horseshit were astoundingly prolific for their first five years, releasing cassettes, CDRs, and 7” singles on their own and on a variety of labels, with their debut full-length Magic Flowers Droned appearing in 2007. Their aesthetic at the time – which Vice described as “the most heart-poundingly great racket since that My Bloody Valentine covers record Comets On Fire never made”, and the London Times called “the sound of an angry Mark E Smith stripping wallpaper with a distortion pedal” – comprised a chaotic cocktail of protest folk, barbed garage punk, scrawny white dub, free noise, tin-can electronica, and shoegaze.

Forming a dense collage of trashed tones and in-the-red mixes, veering between challenging and genuinely catchy, and generally resembling the addled states of a full-blown drink and drug binge, Psychedelic Horseshit have been variously compared to The Fall, The Dead C, early Pavement, Royal Trux, Guided By Voices, Swell Maps, Sebadoh, Harry Pussy and Magik Markers, and located alongside the messy amp-blown brilliance of contemporaries The Hospitals, Tyvek, Eat Skull, and Sic Alps. Keeping a step ahead of the lo-fi scene they christened “shitgaze”, they've drawn on a broad range of influences instead of the xeroxed anorexia of many of their peers, have ruffled feathers by critically speaking out, and carved out caustic, humorous social commentary through snarky wordplay and witty titles.

Currently existing as the duo of Matt Horseshit (vocals/ guitars/ drum programming/ harmonica/ keyboards) and Ryan Jewell (drums/ percussion/ keyboards), Laced also features a guest appearance by Times New Viking's Beth Murphy, who sings on “Dead On Arrival”. Laced was recorded in Columbus throughout 2010 (with two tracks dating back to the previous year), in a variety of basements, practice spaces, living rooms, and bathrooms using almost no amplifiers and a beat-up 70's Teac reel-to-reel. No longer solely mining corrosive, lo-fi dysfunctionality in two-minute adrenaline hits, Laced is the first record that finds Psychedelic Horseshit consistently stretching things out and breaking new ground: losing the caked-in distortion and aggression, while retaining a drugged density and adventurousness, it is cleaner and far more electronic than previous efforts.

Sections of Jewell’s drumming are chopped, sampled, and re-sequenced, piling up rhythms and loops; the emphasis on rhythm and a spiraling mass of processed tones and melodies makes Laced, at timesx feel like a very fried, psychedelic dance record. Squelchy, fluid, and immersive, its huge blown-out swathes of blissfully reverberant FX, buried voices, smeared electronics, and melted-out guitar processing complement moments of blissed-out frequency mess to recall the most sublime moments of Growing or, alternately, Astral Social Club; there are shimmering loop-sections, places where the whole buckles in on itself.

At the center of the slurred, swirling chaos is Matt Horseshit’s gnarly, nasal vocal. In his words, Laced “has a vague concept about dreams and the hollowness of words…vibes of disdain for the music scene that's unfolded over the course of the last few years, and trying not to get crushed under waves of imposed identity in a sea of garbage. It's about experimenting, and win or fail getting back up to do it all again cause safe was never fun in the first place… The references that seem like drug references usually aren't, just like “I Hate The Beach” isn't really about the beach... I think the record is really about smokescreens and the interzone of a reality where everything is connected and simultaneously completely disconnected at once...and dealing with finding your face after its been pounded to a bloody pulp by digital pixel fragments. Or something like that.”

I Saw Mark McGuire

2011-02-24T21:44:00.000-05:00

A quick one. As I'm having a increasingly hard time trying to keep describing the shift in noise for those who have never set foot in the Skylab. I've been participating in the space more frequently in the last year. John Also has revived the once-lagging infrastructure of this fine establishment. I'm not there nearly enough though. I suppose the last show was the Unholy 2 release fiasco. One of those shows that doesn't end until sunrise. One of those shows you leave early because you just can't hang anymore. I suppose that not the usual at Skylab, as the Mark McGuire show was over and done with before midnight. Though you had the feeling no one would mind if it went till sunrise.

Here some mental notes that I took down:

Moth Cock of Kent, Ohio. Perhaps my favorite besides Mr. McGuire. Can't see what's going on frmom the back, but I'm imagining a clarinet or oboe through twisted electronics which produces a slow, guttural, almost ethereal bellow. Something else is going on. From the clip provided it's string damage on the floor, but I can't hear a guitar -- it is wailing though.

Comet Bodies of Cleveland, Ohio. There truly was nothing offensive from this Clevo duo -- basically leaning over machines, twisting knobs, making one long increasing cosmos trip. The lights in this place really accent the retro-futurist synth-ascensions of this "band." Seems like people go crazy for Fuck Buttons for no particular reason, and then kids go and make their own similar soundscapes. Beats not required apparently -- so I'm hoping Comet Bodies listen to Popol Vuh.

Nexus 2.11.11 - Skylab ringleader John Also. Sounded great from the choking/smoking room. Given the name, this was a one-night occasion.

Mark McGuire of Emeralds, of Cleveland. It's rare to see an Emerald outside of Cleveburg and European festivals. So it was a treat for Columbus to host him. Though I'm sure these guys have been down the Skylab pipeline in different configurations for years now. Since McGuire's last solo endeavor was a bit lite - and heavy on almost pastoral psych lines -- and since Emerald's last record was a loud, brash, melodic, and mammoth landmark in psychedelic music -- I wasn't sure which McGuire I'd get to see? Luckily he played it a bit of both. The house-noise-scene's Keller Williams (or Manuel Gottsching) would start the same with each of his four? five? compositions, laying out a rhythmic line and loop it. Repeat -- only shifting in a different direction -- sometimes giving the structure deeper grooves -- sometimes laying on a regal face-melting solo. It never became rote. It only got stronger. He tends to be a master of this domain. As if he spends hours a day doing this in the mirror, with headphones, getting higher and higher. Alas, it ended after about 20 minutes. Kind of scant for the epic night I expected from the Emerald. This is but one man though. Was it worth the 2 1/2 hour drive down here?

Pretty sure he played this one:

Slug Guts - Spewing on America?

2011-02-24T21:16:00.000-05:00

Sad I didn't get to hear Slug Guts' Howlin' Gang before I interviewed them back in January. It's everything Jimi Krizler promised and more. Howlin' Gang features an expanded roster, a new, equally dank/cruel singer, and an much wider scope and sound compared to Down on the Meat. As that album was grimy and anemic, but visceral nonethless, Howlin' Gang seems cinematic and prophetic. "Down in the Morning Sun," featuring Angie Bermuda of Circle Pit sharing vocal duties might even make you cry in it's damaging beauty.

They've also talked about an upcoming tour through the states, which should be very welcomed given the status of bands like the Pit, Fabulous Diamonds and Naked on the Vague on American tongue. Here's footage of them as one of Oz's premiere scuzz-pub bands -- though heavy drink is prolly only an appetizer for this crew.

The Death of Lo-Fi and How to Survive It...

2011-02-21T21:29:00.000-05:00

Like a three-headed Tom Cruise, it appears the kids are making all the right moves when it comes to the approach to their first Merge release (coming in April, watch out). It's rare to hear or read, for that matter, even a ephemeral quip from Mr. Jared Phillips -- guess i's because he "never gets asked to." All budding journalists, if you can provoke from him something as funny as this essay Phillips wrote for Vice UK, regarding the boom and death of lo-fi you'll be sitting on comic gold. Being Vice, they prompted him to "slog" on other bands (which from their perspective should be like shooting "dead rats" in a toothpaste tube) -- but Phillips is classy. That doesn't stop the comments from backlashing, proclaiming inferior bands like Wavves, No Age, and Best Coast the absolute in current indie rock. If only those comments were as funny and biting as Phillip's take on all of this. A must read.

Jewell of the Columbus Nile

2011-02-21T21:14:00.001-05:00

If you've been reading the Agit-Reader lately, you'd know it's been hard for me to leave the 1-270 corridor in search of new invigorating music. Though the scene here is as dead as it's been in years, the usual suspects have made use going even further underground away from all the Daniels and "Great News"-influenced vanilla poisoning our city streets and the few clubs we have here (just wait, in a few months the revival shall begin, like it's 2008 all over again). One of those constant journeyman, and forward thinking-folk is Ryan Jewell - a guy I've always known as incredible but never as crazed as on his very first record, Eschew Obfuscation. Above is a video of what you're likely to see from the mostly percussive musician in the live setting -- as he's usually collaborating and/or playing a one-hour acoustic drone at an undisclosed location. Though the clip in no way resembles what you're about to endure on the record. Which you can buy here.

Sean Sandusky Does Prince's Greatest Hits

2011-02-21T20:58:00.008-05:00

Prince is one of those icons that I blindly deem infallible. From my view, the man hasn't released an acceptable record in 17 years -- keep in mind that's giving a lot of credit to 1994's Come, his last album as Prince before the transformation to a symbol and exodus from Warner Bros. Though history has called it a "contract fulfilling" flop, it's certainly worth your time. Look at that title, this was one of Prince's dirtiest moments and tracks like "Pheremone" and "Race" even evoke Dirty Mind levels of sweaty funk. Still, it's dated -- Prince's post-New Jack by a guy who invented New Jack attempt at finally shedding the last skin of nastiness.

All said and done, with nearly two decades of sub-par material, Prince is an untouchable force. Someone I can always visit - through his epic stretch of epic albums -- and continue to be amazed at the talent and innovation. My Prince love is strong and I often consider him a big influence on everything in my life. What's even more upsetting than his dearth of great pop hits, is his lack to cooperate with the digital world. His reluctance to share his history through YouTube, or even releasing his extensive vault of platinum nostalgia, has robbed a generation of his power. If you really want the essence, find the live film from the Purple Rain tour. If I could only see Prince every night for the rest of my life I'd be fine.

So those of us who worship the guy are forced to either listen to Sign O' the Times for the nth time or emulate exactly what we love about him (cause honestly, is there anyone around that can do what he did these days?). James McNew of Yo La Tengo always comes to the fore in the Prince conversation. His solo project, Dump did a whole record of Prince covers called That Skinny Motherfucker With the High Voice, and it's something I still play since I first heard it. Even in these four-track renditions, it's hard to mistake the purity of Prince's songwriting. "Raspberry Beret" is a particularly potent nugget.

....Which leads me to Sean Sandusky and the magical tape found by an old acquaintance, Jon Lorenz, at a thrift store in Southwest Ohio. Even more raw and primitive than Dump, the mysterious Sandusky plays Prince like nothing I've ever heard. It's twisted and minimal, frightening and endearing all at once. Savant Outsider or Wicked Prank, I urge you to download this and melt in it.

I'll let Jon tell you about finding the tape in his own words. The full tape is listed below.

"Well.. I found it at Valley Thrift on reading rd in Cincinnati. It's the kind of spot you never ever find good tapes at. You can find good records (original ESP Burton Greene - No cover :( for a quarter but tapes, never. It's usually the same tapes every time I go there. The usual selection of sermons and 80's pop music. So, yeah I wasn't even really looking at tapes because honestly they never ever have anything but I noticed a Sean Sandusky tape sitting out basically because it was an obvious home-made cover with xeroxed art glued over a David lee Roth cover. That sort of thing always catches my eye. So, yeah I ended up finding three copies of it though one didn't have a cover. Since all the covers were different and the tape looked like it could be some weird find I decided to buy all three. So unfortunately I don't have a car tape deck so I eagerly waited til I got home to pop it in. I really didn't think it would be as weird as it is. I figured maybe it was some kid making his own cover for a Prince mixtape he made or something... but I put it on and was kind of weirded out by what I heard with it starting with the slowed down spoken intro to the first side and then it jumps in to the most bizarre Prince covers you might ever hear. Super weird arrangements with just clarinet, harmonica, flute, and drums.

But yeah so I was hoping to find contact information on the cassette somewhere but nothing. I kind of figured it was probably someone I knew just throwing some tape together under a different name and throwing them around thiftstores. i had a couple guesses on who it could possibly be and those have proven wrong. It's most likely some kid from the suburbs making weird music and throwing them around thrift stores. I've kind of been waiting to find more copies at other stores but haven't seen a single one since. I'm not even sure when the tape was made. It looks like it has to be somewhat recent by the quality of the covers. Not really faded at all.. but who knows maybe it sat in someone's basement for years and never saw any sunlight.. but i would assume it's at least from the last two years. I have a feeling that whoever made the tape doesn't go by Sean Sandusky so trying to find this kid might be pretty hard. It might even be better if he is never found.

But yeah... I'd like to try and reissue this on cassette but trying to figure out who this kid is first. Would really be interested in hearing originals that he has done."

Sean Sandusky Presents Prince's Greatest Hits

Tyler, the Creator

2011-02-20T21:29:00.000-05:00

Out of memory. Season of Wither.

Live Bloggin' : The 2011 Grammy Awards

2011-02-13T15:06:00.107-05:00

Watch this space. Tonight, starting at 8 PM EST, Terrence Russell Adams, he of Victrola Cola and the hilarious Option this Movie, and myself, will be live-blogging the Grammys via Facebook -- which will feed into a constant stream below. I'm somewhat new to this game, so we'll have to make it up as we go along. Maybe even some red carpet fodder before-hand. We do have an invested interest in a winner tonight -- our good friend Michael Carney is nominated for Best Art Design/Packaging for the Black Key's Brothers LP/CD. See you then.

Though I'd add this, since someone I know won a Grammy this year. Congrats to Mr. Carney. Still wondering why they don't telecast the Best Alternative Album award. What?

Click Here to Watch Michael Carney accept his award.

TRA = Terrence Russell Adams
KJE = Wumme Wenders

All photos courtesy of the lovely Kristin Patton.

Here We Go:

11:27 Alright, I can't actively do this anymore. My head is starting to bleed from the hair follicles. Congrats to Arcade Fire, congrats to Mike Carney. See you bastards at the Oscars. Kevin, thank you for doing the leg work, Kristin, thank you for the pictures, Kellie, thank you for the company and Devo, thank you for being an awesome dog. Goodnight you sexy bastards. - TRA

11:28 Say Goodnight Terrence. See You at the Oscars? - KJE

11:25 I suppose this is a make-up award for Funeral. Times New Viking wins by default. - TRA

‎11:23 And the "good guys" win? I really want to know what Babs and Kris were muttering right there -- and to themselves when the Canadian weirdos played another song. - KJE

11:23 You Lose GAGA. Foiled Again. #supervillain - KJE

‎11:22 Album of the Year goes to......oh who gives a shit. - TRA

11:20 All said. I'm rooting for Arcade Fire to take home album of the year - for a sprawling, pretentious, mediocre record. I still love a lot of the things they do -- just headed in the wrong direction. Towards E. Street instead of OK Computer. - KJE

11:19 Is this show ever going to fucking end? Jesus, I feel like we're watching the Sorrow and the Pity of award ceremonies. - TRA

‎11:15 Listening to this is reminding me why I don't like their new album. I also blame the Grammys for ruining that performance. - TRA

11:14 Cuz we rode BMX in the SUBURBS. Well, WE did. I had a Mongoose. - KJE

11:13 What is up with the goddamn BMXers? This is retarded. - TRA

11:12 Payin TNV'S BILLS!! - TRA

11:12 The moment you've all been waiting for...why am I not that excited? This album was awful. - KJE

11:04 That's Record of the Year? We're all going to burn for this. I know it. - TRA

11:06 Is this thing OVER YET? - KJE

11:04 Trying to figure out the difference between Record and Song of the year. "Need You Now" for the sweep. - KJE

‎11:02 I don't think anyone can read the teleprompter. - TRA

11:01 That fire represents Matt Kemp's career. - TRA

11:00 Exchange between Kellie Morgan and I: Me - How do you spell Vagazzle? Kellie - I think you know how to spell it. - TRA

10:59 Good to see Jimmy Brooks busted out of that wheelchair, after getting shot at his high school, battling through erectile dysfunction, getting dumped by Ash and Ellie, and made a name for himself. Go Drake. - KJE

‎10:58 Puff Daddy is rocking a grill that is preventing him from speaking. Makes sense, because now I'm in awe of this shit show performance. - TRA

10:52 Here's where I wish Odd Future and Lil' B would bum rush the stage. - KJE

‎10:52 Why is Eminem so intense? CALM DOWN SHADY. - TRA

10:50 Nicki Minaj back from her trip to the safari. Will.I.Am back from making me do heroin during the Super Bowl.- TRA

10:49 And the Grammys just lost their 0-35 yr. old audience instantly. - KJE

‎10:47 Babs killed Grimace to make that dress. - TRA

10:46 I can listen to Kris Kristofferson say "angel" and "champion" all night long. But no Babs. Exactly what was/is the allure of this person? Yentl? - KJE

‎10:46 Kris Kristofferson looks like he might pass out. Does he have a cold or something? Or maybe he's just choking up because he has to introduce Barbara fucking Streisand. A star is scorn. - TRA

10:40 Mick Jagger just copulated with that entire crowd. And they loved it. - TRA

10:38 Lemme take this moment to talk about how this is the closest thing to real soul music we're gonna see tonight and it's sung by a white guy from the U.K. - TRA

10:37 Kellie Morgan sez: (Mick Jagger) moves around with the grace of a ballerina. He's a muppet. - TRA

10:36 OK. I suppose this will be better than the "world Grammy premiere of Arcade Fire." - KJE

10:35 And guess who's not dead? MICK JAGGER! Mick has officially made this night okay with a Solomon Burke tribute. Also, FUCK YOU KEITH URBAN. - TRA

10:35 And now Mick Jagger ruins a perfectly lovely tribute to a lot of cool dead people. When will Mick die? BEFORE KEITH. Huzzah.

‎10:34 RIP ALEX CHILTON AND SOLOMON BURKE - TRA

10:34 RIP DIO. - TRA

10:33 R.I.P. Gerry Rafferty. You are missed. KJE

10:32 Wait...people die? BULLSHIT. - TRA

10:29 And here's the obligatory yawnfest speech from this bearded cornhole. Ugh. - TRA

10:28 I'm gonna just say it: Glee is maybe the worst thing to happen to popular music in the last twenty years outside of Cop Rock. - TRA

‎10:26 Can we take a second to talk about how much of a fucking sham Dr. Phil is? - TRA

10:25 The Latin-sung McDonald's commercial has been the high point of this evening. Who wrote that little nugget? - KJE

10:22 Esperanza, welcome to the highlight of your career. Most useless award given in the world. - KJE

10:21 Esperanza, who makes music that sounds like a hippie noodle dancing in hell. - TRA

‎10:20 John Legend is so high right now. Jewel is just...umm...vapid. - TRA

10:20 So worried about DETOX. - KJE

10:17 She needs a doctor, apparently. - TRA

10:17 The fact that the music industry has yet to find a replacement for Eminem is item number one for the music industry's failure. Then again this single sold 10 trillion copies. Every trailer park/ghetto/broken suburban home in America has this as their anthem. - KJE

10:13 Rihanna wearing what looks like a blizzard of shitty fabric. - KJE

10:12 "I'm here to officially apologize for the Green Hornet." - KJE

10:12 Seth Rogan, please save us. ZINGER. - TRA

10:09 The Grammys are suffering from a general lack of Taylor Swift. Luckily she's in every other commercial. BTW -- she's doing fine, tweeted me from Osaka this morning. - KJE

10:08 BACK. Devo the Dog would like say the following: RUFF RUFF RUFF THIS AWARD SHOW SUCKS HARDER THAN ME WHEN I HAVE A FULL BOWL OF DOG FOOD IN FRONT OF ME. - TRA

10:01 Not going to lie -- Katy Perry has zero talent, but I love this song. Catchy as fuck. - KJE

9:58 "Love the fact so many punk and hip hop kids are watching a bunch of shit they hate because someone they have an affiliation with won an award during the pretelecast. Myself included." - Wes Flexner (speaking about the Black Keys -- who have already won.)

9:48 We need you Terrence. Cee-Lo is doing a pretty amazing Muppet/Carnival/Black/Elton John/Revue.....but Paltrow had to come and "forget" it all up. - KJE

9:46 "Need You Now" is a deserving song. Song of the Year? - KJE

9:44 The Kings of Leon and Miley Cyrus -- We now know the faces of the Four Horseman. - KJE

9:42 Thinking this is the girl in Sleigh Bells. Need You Now. - KJE

9:40 Lea Michelle is wearing Pucci!!! ...and I actually heart Lady Antebellum...and Simply Red.

9:30 They almost tripped Dylan and his microphone is too low. My childhood is dying with this. All of those dudes behind him are such douchebags. This is hurting me in very important places inside. - TRA

9:30 These are the guys Mark E. Smith slapped, right? Good for him. - KJE

9:28 Oh, the Avett Brothers! Pardon me while I shine the bullet I'm about to put through my brain. - TRA

9:28 Now I know what a Wednesday at the Treehouse sounds like. Give me Back USHER. - KJE

‎9:25 Nice trucker hat, DWEEB. Dylan better come out and punch these ass clowns right in their small, small penises. #dickpunch - TRA

‎9:23 PLAY HER OFF. PLAY HER OFF. PLAY HER OFF. PLAY HER OFF. - TRA

9:21 Lady Gaga beats out Katy Perry's boobs. Congratulations? Christ. This is awful. Did she just fuckin' curse? - TRA

9:21 NKOTBB tx on sale tomorrow..... - KJE

9:16 Awesome though that Neil was nominated for an album called Le Noise. - KJE

‎9:15 Did that dude just call out his pregnant "girlfriend" on national T.V.? #awesome - TRA

9:14 Neil Young gets beat by Muse. TRAVESTY!!!!! - TRA

‎9:14 Jeff Beck just woke up. - KJE

9:11 Never Forget. Will Smith is a Scientologist right? His spawn are wired to rule the world one day...- KJE

9:08 Bieber should probably say never. Maybe. Soon. His voice is dropping. #puberty - TRA

9:07 Usher is a kid fucker. He picks them up in parking lots, apparently. - TRA

9:07 "If it was meant to be, we'd meet again." Is that a line from the Neverending Story? He did write this song. I'll give the kid that. - KJE

9:05 Eva Longoria looks like she's draped in curtains. - TRA

9:05 @ Kellie Morgan -- Now Kellie's is on the fun. Even if she hasn't heard the early Lambert records. - KJE

9:02 Andy Hampel would be a vital resource here tonight. Right now - KJE

9:01 Can't wait to see what Terry says about Dylan and those "other" bands. - KJE

‎8:59 Kellie Morgan Sez: She (Lambert) looks like she fell out of Wal Mart. - TRA

8:57 If that's the future of music, I'm going to go ahead and shove an ice pick in my ear drum. - TRA

8:57 Do Love Monae. Hate the Retro thang they're doing. - KJE

8:54 Give the mic to her hair, maybe it can sing. - TRA

8:52 Seriously, this is the death of pop music. Right here. He looks like something that would show up in Little Richard's stool. - TRA

8:51 Is B.O.B. a discreet reference to Outkast, or does it mean Boy on Bud? Who's this guy? Richie Valens? Hope they play "Tightrope" at least.... - KJE

8:45 Olive Garden Commercial. Time to Drink. - KJE

8:43 - Pictures courtesy of Kristin Patton.

8:42 Headless bass? You sir deserve a wedgie. - TRA

8:42 I would have no problem with you bringing back Panic at the Disco. Prog for Frats? Our generation's Gentle Giant? - KJE

8:40 Douchy sign to Egypt protestors in 3...2...1... - TRA

‎8:40 OOOHHHHH!!! FUCK YOU LENNY KRAVITZ!!!! I HOPE YOU DIE. - KJE

8:37 Sorry, besides the Black Keys and crew, Miranda Lambert is the coolest person in this room. #bighitcountry - KJE

‎8:36 This song does have a chorus, right? RIGHT?!!?? - TRA

‎8:33 So that guy is getting married to a Vegas call girl? - TRA

8:33 - Who's this guy? - KJE

8:31 That sound you hear is Lou Reed's soul getting ripped out through his nostrils. - TRA

8:27 So wait, she was born lame? - TRA

8:26 Is "Express Yourself" that old? Shoulder implants. Do parent's accept this? - KJE

8:23 Ricky Martin is a Tool. Lady Gaga is a bag of tools. - TRA

‎8:22 Ricky Martin's pants say, "I'm now openly gay, and I've been on Oprah -- now I'm introducting Lady Gaga." - KJE

8:20 Apparently Glee is a group and now Paramore is pop? Confused. Go Sade. - KJE

8:20 Friskies commercial was the best thing so far.....#psychcats - KJE

8:15 That was a tidal wave of suck. NEXT. - TRA

8:14 "Sorry fans, I couldn't get out of the Cove because of the influx of Japanese fisherman." Aretha - KJE

8:10 You are all molesting her song book. Burn this stage down immediately. - TRA

8:09 This is a clusterfuck of sadness. - TRA

8:07 Florence of the Machine is so out of place. She looks like a menopausal 7th grade art teacher. She should only be singing in Donewaiting Message Boards. - KJE

8:06 I wouldve rather heard the machine sing. - TRA

8:03 I CANT LIVE WITHOUT MY RADIO. Youre indoors, asshat. - TRA

8:01 It appears John Goodman performed at a Grammy show. Oh wait, that's Aretha Franklin. Did she die today or am I missing something? - KJE

7:58 Already wish Ricky Gervais was hosting this thing, and I'm not even sure WHO is hosting this thing. What am I getting myself into? - KJE

Purple Power

2011-02-12T19:36:00.000-05:00

Every Day should be Prince Day.

The WOW Absence Excuse....OFFICIAL

2011-02-12T19:31:00.000-05:00

You might find this funny, if you are up with my humour -- or FB posts. World Of Wumme has signed to...these days...if we signed, to Olde English Spelling Bee, though I couldn't fault Merge -- even if they sent "us" (our tapes) a polite rejection letter over 17 years ago. All of the duties that come with that imagined signing -- in addition to (over) teaching, house-werks, Agit-Priorities, bar-shifts, blood-educations, and the general lack of great music crossing my lap -- have made for a void at World of Wumme. So where did all the time go? Well....

Got the chance to play tour manager for the kids on two mini-tours.

One in Detroit -- inspired post forthcoming:

And a second in Nashville and Louisville. The epic GBV/TNV 'Villes Tour of 2011.

Nashville is a city I wished I had much more time to discover. As it was, the five hours spent in these local dives/landmarks before the show, was revelatory. I could live here. Easy. Three GBV shows in the past year, countless TNV shows, I"m a lucky man. This one in Nashville was a sing-a-long feast through all the Pollard hits. Wow.

Sadly, no pics of Louisville worth posting. 'Cept for the frog at Lynn's Paradise Cafe. Not a place worth bloggin' -- go watch the Food Network. Disappointing. But it did have this funky charm.

Promise, I'm back. There really are no excuses, though I listed a few back there. Big things are on the way.

Times New Viking - "No Room to Live"

2011-02-12T19:30:00.004-05:00

(photo courtesy of Brooklyn Vegan)

Yes. This is the face of Jared "getting down." By now it's old news that the kids are taking their talents to Merge Records (a vertical leap?), with their latest and greatest album, Dancer Equired, expected in April. I've been listening for a while now and still can't get enough. Call it Landmark. There are many tours, singles, remixes, videos and films on the way (in the making), but this video is the first glimpse of Dancer Equired, and what a beautiful glimpse it is. Do they still play videos? This should win some award right? Could it coax 120 Minutes out of retirement, the same way Dig Yourself did to Siltbreeze? A boy can dream. Though you've probably seen it a million times already -- I chose to put it here for prosperity's sake. Watch it again.

A Quick Visit to Dizzy Whizz

2011-02-12T19:30:00.002-05:00

I've exhausted the Cincy Chili Quest (just need to hit up Blue Ash at one point) and moved onto to finding the perfect burger (in ode to Wimpy). In anticipation of my upcoming Ohio Burger Tour, my first addition of Burger Time landed me in Louisville. It was fate really. I owe it to my parents for pulling over at many a tourist trap over the years. You can tell the quality by the road sign - and while driving through beautiful downtown Louisville, I spied the exit for Dizzy Whizz. "Since 1947" is usually an omen. It will be at least acceptable if it's they've been there that long. Later in the night, pre-TNV, my phone informed me the Dizzy Whizz was only a mile or so away. Louisville gets bonus for being easy to navigate -- and a casual cruise through Old Louisville always enlightening. Why does Columbus not have this?

Dizzy Whiz was a beacon in an otherwise sleepy hood. You could pull in for curb service, or sit at the counter in the modest dining area. I chose to hit the inside window and order their fries and a family's worth of the "famous" Dizzy Whizz. It was cheap and quick, more a neighborhood staple than world classic. The "special sauce" and construction of the double-decker Dizzy Whizz was a pure replicate of a Big Boy. No harm, no foul. I'd like to know the history of this type of burger. Need to research. Or you could comment. Were I back in Louisville, I would certainly stop for another. More to come. Didn't have enough for a t-shirt, but the logo is tops.

Sic Alps Ride Again

2011-02-12T19:29:00.003-05:00

I didn't get the chance to pontificate about the Sic Alps latest 2XLP over at the Agit-Reader. But Napa Asylum is something I've been chewing on for a while now. It's fitting that the duo have hired a third, progressed over to Drag City (cuz it sure sounds like Royal Trux drug through a San Franciscan meadow-meal), and sprawl onto two full slabs of vinyl for their epic re-imagining. Yes. The splintered slow-flo pop of U.S. EZ has gotten sharper and stickier, pretty and gentle, but it may just be too much -- and not enough shapeshifting. Sic Alps, though, seem cohesive and optimistic in this lengthy solitaire, as if this is only a beginning. Bonus points for invigorating the scuzz machine of ol' The mass is in the mix and the whole rough-beauty gems pour out. They'll soon come out to see the sun.

The Drank Experiment

2011-02-12T19:29:00.002-05:00

The tag is to “slow your roll.” Sound like something quoted from Dre’s The Chronic. Honestly, the idea of drop-tops and blunts and fridges full of ‘40s haven’t really percolated since those halcyon days. Yes. Southern Hip-Hop forged an industry on reversing reality, chopping and screwing everything in sight – but seeing a 24 ounce can of Drank is the first time in a while that I’ve said “laaaaaid back” like I just got done sparking that seminal record. Drank is officially the first anti-energy drink, and I wouldn’t have known about it were it not for the “slow your roll” couple of the year, Matt and Beth (R.I.P.). That said, I have only seen Drank in a handful of stores (and that includes travelling to Nashville recently) so I’m imaging the world is not ready for an anti-energy drink or they don’t care. Drank is completely legal – so here forth don’t think of me as a bath salt inhaler – and contains a lethal amount of Velrian Root (say, valium), Melatonin, and Rose Hips (which I remember my dip-addicted uncle replacing for dip at one point) that will certainly pack a buzz unbeknownst. Please don’t see this as an instruction manual. I would never suggest driving under the influence or that important meeting/job interview with Drank in the system. This was merely an experiment, since it was readily available at the corner store (shall not be named). I recently noticed this entrepreneurism by local “quickie” marts to cash-in on non-regulated products (see: the origins of Four Loko) because of a fad.

I would completely cash-in on Drank. Full-marketing, that of a quasi-hip-hop St. Ides-esque campaign by moguls who know their market. It would be easy to sell, and it’s completely harmless. There’s nothing here that will make you rob your mother to buy more – and/or drive a vehicle in appropriately. If anything, you’ll fall asleep. I have no knowledge of the “real” drank scene which involves diluted cough sizzurup and over-the-counter accentuates for “slowing your roll.” Experiments with NyQuil only came on sick days, when zoning out to TMNT was a youth-derived pleasure. I can’t say though that my Drank experience wasn’t wasted. The taste is completely acceptable, like an over-carbonated, perfectly-watered-down, version of Grape Nehi. And if you haven’t had Nehi, you haven’t lived yet. The nutritional impact is somewhere between a sugary soda and diet. And it actually produced a mild “slow” of my CNS. There were actual tingles in the fingers, toes, arms and legs – enough to warrant more sips. Apologies if this sounds like a drug buzz, but you’re all doing drugs. Again, Drank is harmless, and should be promoted as a hangover/mid-party ailment.

Update: Drank appears to be very hard to find (a few quickie marts up here in Lil' Vegas have it) but priced right. Keep it on the shelves people. Much better than Bath Salts.

Circuit des Yeux's Ode to Fidelity

2011-02-12T19:29:00.001-05:00

In contemplating the arc of Haley Fohr’s muse, it’s hard not to look upon the first femme-destroyer, untrained, but skulking around a number of skins on the floor. No I’m not thinking of Zola Jesus right now, though both Nika and Haley seem poised at the same starting line. Supposedly it’s about terms and those parameters have different meanings for both involved. Fohr tends to march to her own drummer more often than not, even if that means the discomfort of those who dare to listen. I’m thinking of Scout Niblett – who, while foraging around the same sub-Indiana terrain, found a voice completely empowering, tragic, and castrating. Even if the Die Stasi compilation provided a zero ground for female deconstruction – nary a guitar lesson in sight – Fohr has gone beyond that already and her body of work shows that progression. The latest addition to that repertoire is the De Stijl 7”, titled with a smirk, Ode to Fidelity. As Circuit des Yeux, Fohr still deals in frightening molasses dementia and death opera, but it’s so deliberate, she almost evolves (in Pokemon terms) before your eyes on “Barrel Down.” For a moment forgive all of the atonal/out-of-tune/dirt-black lamentations – think of it as an empty factory sighing. “Self-Satisfaction” lives in heaving synths, background moans and groan, with a flatline installed to heighten the mood. You could compare it to anything by Kim Gordon (sic) or Jandek, though it’s singularly Fohr’s bellow. “March With the Rich” is the guarantee – signaling that this is just the beginning of a tribal, Midwestern-dark-cult, awakening taking place inside the future musiques of Circuit des Yeux.

Still digging Sirenum hardcore.

Top 5 Psych Wonders of 2010

2011-02-12T19:29:00.000-05:00

Each year as my tastes continually fluctuate, psychedelia becomes more its own – something to fuck your brain momentarily (or when you need a moment). Those who know their way around the Amon Duul II catalogue, you know what I mean – there’s music and then there’s psychedelic music. It becomes an epic struggle and search and rescue to find and soak in what you can. The batch of psych-wonders on this year’s list are borne of ether-enriched planets or completely conceived in a nowhere. They are albums that function as broad, colorful strokes. They are something you can’t recommend to polite public company. Those who know their way around the (scant) Agitation Free catalogue, you know what I mean. These are delicacies for acquired tastes. Like film, it take some serious inner-discussion and deliberating to whittle these down.

Please click on the names before for some face-melting experiences provided by the following outfits. Though I can't seem to find any live booty from Completely Dusted?

Deathly Fighter - Completely Dusted (Columbus Discount)

Dungen - Skit i Allt (Mexican Summer)

Gatekeeper - Giza (Merok)

Moon Duo - Escape (Woodsist)

Outer Limits Recordings - Foxy Baby (Olde English Spelling Bee)

Honestly, there are several more out there that I'm only now discovering here in January. If you want a complete list, please say so in the comments.

The Saddening State of MTV's Programming

2011-02-12T19:28:00.001-05:00

Teaching seniors in high school, the current line-up of MTV programming is downright frightening (and in one instance, downright hopeful). Is this age setting in? Or common sense? OK. I can equate the Jersey Shore as something relative to the Real World of my youth. But as brilliant as Jersey Shore really is – and it is a thing of art even if the 3rd season has become an obvious (to its participants even) caricature of the 1st – I’m hoping the generation making this their daily lives doesn’t ape the fashion sense or lexicon, or behavior of the Jersey herd. I’m hoping it’s seen as downright tacky. Skins has become a double-edged sword for me. As a huge fan of the British original, I was glad to see the same producers try this in America (we’ve all come to agree on the American Office, right?). And by replicating each of the old episodes, nearly frame by frame, in an American setting, it could make for real, good, teen-drama television. I was in high hopes that it could equal the unequaled Canadian teen-drama, Degrassi (which is now still in its Boiling Point phase, beyond unequaled). Too bad, four episodes in, Skins is a tragedy. I’m not even appalled at the overdrive of sex and drug talk in the dialogue and set-pieces – it’s not pornography, go watch a Larry Clark film if you want a little shock – it’s just how bad these kids sound in talking to each other. They mock the “rich private school” types, but attend a high school that allows them the privilege of smoking a joint in the bathroom (co-ed, in the same stall). This is not reality. I know first-hand – teens don’t talk like this. The closest I came was smoking a cigarette on the outlying roof of the THS drama room. If these teens live in this utopia of teenage rebellion, whilst among the common class, get me a time machine and sign me up. Given the lack of advertisers willing to latch on and support MTV in their teenage exploitation (which it isn’t, mind you, but I predicted a Midwestern/Xtian/Red-Parent backlash) and the lack of actual depth in these characters (where unlike the original, these are highly un-likeable) I can’t see Skins lasting too long. Debate/Debate.

The Vice Guide to Everything likely won’t be back. I don’t know that. I have no insider information. But I also haven’t seen a cultural uprising proclaiming the Vice half-hour variety show as something relevant. Thought it is. This show is the most intelligent thing on MTV since that Jesse VJ or at least Buzzkill (where are those DVDs?), maybe Chris Connelly – but he’s a scab. Basically, if you’ve been a long-time fan of the magazine and the VBS.tv arm of their filmic representation (the Vice Guide to Travel is highly recommended) then you won’t find what the Guide to Everything does as that shocking. The first season was simply the best of VBS cut down to bite-size portraits of fringe life in our world. Visits to Liberia, gun markets in Afghanistan, underground strip-clubs in Detroit, are de rigor for Vice and here those integral pieces of legitimate journalism (seriously) are illuminated as grotesque music videos. I can’t fault Vice for cashing in at all – hopefully the youth will start EBay-ing back issues of the ‘zine (I have an extensive collection, mind you) – but I feel like no one is listening. Them kids aren’t worldly. The closest they might get is an M.I.A. album. Honestly, that’s a start. But I feel the news is secondary to finding out about ICP tour dates or the new "legal" gas station drugs to hide from the parents. And that’s Real Life.

Top 5 Soul Diva Revelations of 2010

2011-02-12T19:28:00.000-05:00

I’ll likely be reprimanded by soul and indie folk alike for proclaiming 2010 as the year of the new soul diva. Now they come in so many shapes and sizes, it’s hard to keep up with whom if fronting, and who is truly tapping into the soul of rhythm and blues. The “classic” stuff that still gets its own station. Here it’s Magic 98.9 (yes, the station our dearly departed Ted Williams cast on the street). In Dayton, it was the slightly more engaging, U-92 (which is now, apparently, where “hip-hop lives”). And while Rhianna is strong (slightly less engaging) and Alicia Keys remains an icon – there were more subversive divas on the lot, buried in urban radio only. Out of the charts we know and love. It was possibly indie-rock-critic/hack suicide to include Jazmine Sullivan’s Love Me Back (released by the empire known as J Records) on a year-end Top 20 list, but I don’t care. In a year when I came to passionately appreciate once-novelty, guilty pleasures, like Sade and Anita Baker, it made perfect sense. Usually those types of albums go on alternate lists – separated from the typical rock-trend zeitgeist. In saying this, I’m just as guilty, only picking one record to be emblematic of a bounty of soul diva revelations. Here’s a YouTube primer of my Top Five Soul Divas of 2010.

Jazmine Sullivan - Holding You Down

Monica - Love All Over Me

K. Michelle - I Just Can't Do This

Cassie - Skydiver

Ciara - Speechless

Reading Rainbow - But Don't Take My Word For It

2011-02-12T19:27:00.001-05:00

A fuckton of Hozac comes down the line these days (years), nearly too much to keep up with. In casual conversation I’d heard about Reading Rainbow, a duo consisting of Rob Garcia and Sarah Everton, who appear to be on the kid’s permanent guest list. That makes them good people. Now they’re card carrying Hozac chum – a nice sweetcore diversion to the label’s usual glue-sniff-punk. The couple from Philadelphia seems fully aware of the wooly psych that has defined the city in the last two decades (Lenola, Siltbreeze, Purling Hiss) and riff on that notion. This 7” is how you should observe their dampened sunshine, in bright glimpses, dew-covered woodland hymnals, peeks at British folk. None the wiser though, “Over It” is a crystal vision of late ‘60s garage psych full of Nico/Velvets monogamy. The unique interplay of the girl/boy, man/woman, gender-dynamic is taken for granted in the post-Stripes universe and Reading Rainbow provide actual refreshment where a number of girl-group imitators scramble for that post-Stripes audience. This is noisy indeed, with tinny guitar reverberations and dime-store drums playing crow for dirt-weed clientele. Maybe even a more refined Jerusalem and the Starbaskets (Wumme-certified alum). Yeah, this a glorious racket, especially “Tough Love” – the b-side – even if you’ve heard it all before. The garage-rock nugget motif is only that, a template. It’s what you do with it. And even though I can’t vouch for a complete 30 minutes of this harmony – I can say, in doses like, this tiny record Reading Rainbow sound more studied than their peers.

Agit-Reader Visual Guide (Mid-Winter)

2011-02-12T19:27:00.000-05:00

In lieu of getting a tumblr -- to provide visual accompaniment to the content of Agit-Reader, I'll be intermittently posting companion material here. The Agit is taking a lot of my energy, so I like to spread our voodoo as far as I can.

Here are some videos of some recent Agit-Faves.

Unholy 2

Subject of a November feature and unanimous top ten record as voted by our staff.

Click here to download one of their more recent, incendiary, live shows.

Twin Sister

Another November feature. Though I was nonplussed by their Columbus appearance (blame it on the venue), I feel this band is poised for super-stardom. Big anticipation for their 2011 debut.

Deerhunter

Still waiting for a tell-all interview with Mr. Cox. Halcyon Digest landed in our top ten and in my top three. Please come play Columbus -- and not as Atlas Sound.

Girl Unit's "Wut" Questions the Expansion of Dubstep

2010-11-18T21:25:00.000-05:00

Don't pretend to be something I'm not. Don't go to clubs and know all that much about the electronic "scene." Beyond the rare Diplo show -- and those who surround him, I'm clueless. Looking over the content on Resident Advisor, I'm usually baffled, but blow away by their critical knowledge and comprehensiveness of the electronic music worldview. Pitchfork for higher level thinking perhaps? I do however, hole myself up and enjoy a lot of what I'm hearing in this sphere. Particularly dubstep, I'll even act like I do know something about that. Though I don't. It's splintered in so many directions and strains now, it seems impossible to stay afloat. Night Slugs is a label I adore. Everything that's come from that imprint has been in a steady rotation all year long. But is it dubstep? I hear it called UK Funky, but have no idea what that might be? I'll play completely stupid with Girl Unit, who's what is as incredibly dub, purple, and maximalist as I've heard this sound. Back in the half-decade, there was this thing called Space Disco -- this alienates the disco, goes deep space, and hovers over the dancefloor with chipmunk pop melodies.

Then again, it is one step away from Utah Saints.

Blog About Blog -- Pizza Slayer and the Pop Jew

2010-11-18T20:50:00.000-05:00

I was very excited the other day when I discovered that the most reliable source for news and reviews on Columbus, Ohio pizza culture, had been renewed for a new season of hijinks. Those of you living here -- who have not explored the trials and tribs of the Pizza Slayer crew -- are missing out on this important sociological experiment. Believe me, our city may not be known for our pizza, but we have consistent quality all over town and there is a fierce debate on what's the best. This argument is constantly challenged in the pages of Pizza Slayer. Kind of wishing they branch off their expertise to bars and bistros, a hot dog flame war, or an investigative report on local food carts -- but there's surprisingly enough pizza to go around. Because of them I'm now a fan of the unassuming Northland gem, Terita's. Glad they called out the gladhanding of the Yellow Brick. Ugh.

Another bloggeratti I've been reading for some time, is now on a sociological experiment of a completely different ilk. Rachel Coleman, the author of the delightful Pop Jew in Brooklyn, is currently on the Pop Jew Bus Tour. Huffing it Greyhound style to cities on the mythical dive-bar trail - Detroit, Madison, Chicago, Minneapolis and beyond cross-country -- and reporting her findings of good record stores and better after-hours. She made her first stop in Columbus to witness the Skylab Lock-In (where the bands didn't start till 12 and ended at sunrise I suppose) with Unholy 2, Puffy Areolas (abbreviated), the Cheater Slicks (epic set), Funerals (out of place, but intriguingly dance-able and strange), Fey Gods (underrated electric-scum-rock kings), and Jewell/Burleson (whom I missed). She seems very mobile and complete in her brief visits -- something everyone at one-time or another dreams of doing, but doesn't. Cross-country wanderlust, coupled with PBR tallboys and gnarly music. A good read.

"Open Your Heart" Just Because

2010-11-18T20:21:00.000-05:00

I always wanted to be the kid in this video. A Top Ten '80s pulse. Peter Rafelson, who wrote this, also wrote the previously mentioned Jane Wiedlin hit, "Rush Hour." So it all makes sense.

This is just because....the time is right.....entering the holiday corridor.

Is Willow Smith the Pre-Tween Rihanna?

2010-11-10T22:08:00.000-05:00

Hard to believe I'm just about to vouch for the progeny of William Smith. For a moment, let's survey the career of William Smith. Of course, if I consider myself "old school," which I do (test me), at 12, He's the DJ, I'm the Rapper was a watershed. Though I knew it was comical rap, commercial rap, not nearly as lethal as LL or Kool Moe Dee, it was enjoyable to see "Parents Just Don't Understand" in the ubiquitous spotlight it took hold of. But really, that honeymoon was short-lived. "Summertime" may have been the twilight of the Fresh Prince's career. I'll admit to watching the sitcom -- it was mindless and starred the "rapper." But I think it was Six Degrees of Seperation (I'll give him some acting chops) where his ego may have taken control //// and see Ice Cube //// and his musical endeavors laid bare for all to see. A joke.

Big Willy beget Jayden. Now the Karate Kid and destined for some stroke of stardom. I guess his wife then beget Willow. Yes. Too young for the stage. For the Miley Cyrus cycle. Still "Whip My Hair" is respectable teen pop, and packed with enough beat and pizazz to consider, that if her handlers stay this cutting-edge (yes, a Willow Smith song is cutting-edge) she could become the next Rihanna -- in 10 years. Which, to me, is saying something. "Whip My Hair" is mindless, like her father, sort of confusing, sort of head banging for urban radio, sort of bigger than "Umbrella" at the moment. Just sweet enough though that it's veering closer to Disney Radio than the Top 40 (though as of press time, it's #11 on the charts). Who knows? It's a bit too catchy to actually admit to loving.

Autumnal Beer Review

2010-11-10T22:07:00.000-05:00

Working behind a bar for years, and in an actual brewery, I get the jib from a lot of beer "geeks." More than beer "geeks," I get "hop-heads" these days. So much so I suppose I could call myself one, developing a taste of well-hopped beers -- IPAs and the like. But I'm not a beer "geek." Even though I'm supposed to talk like one. Those guys are like the overzealous weed rah-rahs, who partake in the "culture" of weed and all the tacky accoutrement that comes with it, but maybe even worse -- I'll take a coaster, visit a favorite brewery, but never worry about ABVs or whatevah the fuck. I'm fairly partial to the beer made about 50 feet behind me. Believe in Columbus Brewing Company's IPA -- a stiff competitor against DogfishHead 60 Minute. Of course I'm talking like one. So this won't be a lesson, or a take on notes or aromas, just a list -- since Autumn is the time of year the best beers seem to arrive.

Above is DogfishHead Bitch's Brew -- is this supposed to taste like Miles Davis? I'm not usually into stouts, but here you have a Porter brewed with honey and gesho root. Very intriguing.

Something I've never known about before are Fresh Hopped IPAs. The hometown brewery, Columbus Brewing Company used week old hops to develop Super Fresh H-O-P (now completely unavailable). Much like their IPA, yet mellower. I could probably drink this forever if I had too. I need something not as potent as the originator.

Another bottled brewery favorite has been Lakewood, New York's Southern Tier. They too have made a Harvest Ale, using fresh hops. This is a close second to the CBC, yet hard to find now. Alas.

Any of the Southern Tier catalog is well worth your monies. I'm not partial to Pumpkin Ales, but their Pumking Imperial Pumpkin Ale is a worthy beer. Not a cookie. Then along comes their 2XIPA. I think they want to rob me from Dogfish.

What I can recommend is below. Left Hand Twin Sister IPA tried a bit too hard. Never judge a beer by it's (name and) cover. Told 'ya I'm not a beer "geek."

I Saw Guided By Voices

2010-11-09T21:36:00.001-05:00

I've seen Guided By Voices countless times, in countless settings, composed of countless members filling roles. But this was classic. The "band" that made the magic. That I'd seen in supper clubs, arenas, public parks, places as intimate as Canal St. Tavern and a post-office in Tipp City, OH, USA. This night, in 2010, in October, in Columbus, was not an ideal location -- but that is another sub-story, for another time. It couldn't dampen the atmosphere or the songs or the sense of community in the room (people I haven't seen in a decade). Of Bob Pollard's million-strong songbook, he's a master at whittling down a Top 30, a spotless laundry list from that classic era. This would be a setlist most bands from the "era" would kill for on the reunion circuit. Superchunk/Sonic Youth/not even Pavement could match what was heard on this Saturday night. This was a time capsule -- one that I'm content to unearth as frequently as they'd like...and Pollard can keep writing. I've been saying he's in another renaissance and hopefully in his '50s, a renaissance proportional to this classic line-up. I could go into Mitch and Toby (amazing medley there) and Demos and Fennell, but that would only repeat a sentiment I've extolled for years. This was the band.

Thanks again to Mike Sperry - the pro who caught this on tape for all to have. Download the whole show here.

Infinite Rewards of Dungen

2010-11-09T21:36:00.000-05:00

It began to feel like Gustav Ejstes was just going through the motions. The same way those Caravan and Family (and eventually the Groundhogs) albums get progressively more predictable (i.e. worse) as they '70s went dimmer. It's probably because I just wasn't listening soft enough, I wanted skree and fuzz, endless solos and Polaroid resin. Skit I Allt has everything, including the progression, on one platter, and I'm disappointed in myself to cast it off at first listen, as just another Dungen album. With Reine Fiske weaving a heavy load of masterful guitar work, the more Ejstes furthers his compositions towards jazz fusion, the more implicitly psych his songs become.

"Ballor" is a particularly potent nugget. Fresh as morning dew from a fjord, the addition of Anna Jarvinen gives it a Curved Air mystique, a driving piece worthy of "Back Street Luv." There are elements of Soft Machine and Bitche's Brew all over the place. And it's "Soda" that proves they don't have to be "heavy" to be "heavy," as the vibes are sonic "heavy," vintage smoke and wine "heavy." As piano has gained a prominence, the virtuoso riffing comes on all fronts. Ejstes is still repping hip-hop and Aphex Twin, but I hear none of that. This is reel to reel free jam. That's especially true of "Hogdallstoppen," a rightly organic epic face-melter -- which edits in and out of mushroom clouds, flying laughs, and seismic choogle. This is the fantasy marriage of George Martin and Randy Holden.

Droop-E is a Piece of My Heart (Diamond Love)

2010-11-09T21:35:00.001-05:00

Beyond the nostalgia/kitsch acquired in a mixtape full of '80s plastic-pop, there's no better way to connect with that nostalgia than through the blatant sampling of hip-hop. Think about the nostalgic burst in Bone Thugz using Phil Collins "Take Me Home" -- Phil's not exactly welcome at any moment, but in the context of a thuggish ruggish introspection, it's perfect, goosebump inducing. Perhaps why I enjoy Droop-E's Black Diamond Life so much, it that there's nothing as obvious as what Droop-E has crafted in this slender eight song mini-album -- made of exclusively Sade samples. When sampling a resource as liberally as Droop-E, it's close to a concept. Songs like "Cherish the Bay" and "Hungry" imagine a Bay Area street-life, taking a night off on the yacht, cruising champagne and blunts, sultry sax and relaxed bongos -- "Smooth Operator" wafting in the background.

While I can't say I've heard much of Droop-E besides Black Diamond Life (which you can download for free here), he's been around the block. As the son of E-40, hence the guest spot, he's appeared on various mixtapes and many of his father's cuts. It's very calculated and very wordquick, extremely similar to Curre$y (talked about previously) -- laconic and mellow. A welcomed foil to samples so blatant and so obvious. Hip-hop producers should do this more often, but for now, Sade is off the table. May I suggest -- The System?

2010 Season of Wither Mix

2010-10-21T22:05:00.002-05:00

Yes. An Aerosmith song (perhaps the only thing besides It's a Shame About Ray and Ed O.G. and the Bulldogs I like from the city). Could not believe I hadn't heard "Season of Wither" before this seasonal shift, but it fits here. A epic '70s slow-burn, classic in every inch, moody and searing all the same (kinda like Autumn in Ohio). The rest of this culls from that mood - empty John Hughes hallways, roller-rinks in October (they always factor in), another Twin Sister song (cause they exemplify the Fleetwood Mac/Bjork hybrid of my dreams), pure lush and earth-tone warmth. There are a few on here that deserve explanation. International Feel is the closest I've heard of Agitation Free -- and they are native to Punta Del Este, Uruguay (a place to fall in love). There's Winwood and Collins cause my walkmen would've liked this on a paper route -- during the season. And Games? "Strawberry Skies" could be a contender for song of the year.

Please Enjoy. Make sure to download, lay to compact disc, and jam the fall foliage with this one. The Double River Rainbow Mix is no longer on the cloud. Left-click the link for that one. I promise I'll make a page where all of these can reside.

2010 Season of Wither Mix

(Download by right-clicking title and "saving file as.")

Balam Acab – “See Birds (Moon)”
Shannon – “Give Me Tonight”
Roxy Music – “Take a Chance With Me”
Twin Sister – “Meet the Frownies”
Steve Winwood – “Talking Back to the Night (Wumme Edit)”
International Feel – “The Coptic Sun”
Deerhunter – “Helicopter (Diplo and Luncie Mix)”
Games – “Strawberry Skies”
Philip Bailey and Phil Collins – “Easy Lover”
Ariel Pink – “Round and Round (Hood Internet Mix)”
Summer Camp – “Round the Moon”
Aerosmith – “Season of Wither”

(55:30)

(A World of Wumme Production, 2010)

"No Room to Live"

2010-10-21T22:05:00.000-05:00

Not sure why, in the back of my mind, I imagine "No Room to Live" as a comeback. There are circumstances that could suggest such, but that can only be attributed to bad handling of their best album (on all fronts). And, on the blip-a-minute indie-ticker, a song as achieved as "No Room to Live" flies on by in a blink. Right now it just took its maiden voyage playing to fans awaiting Guided By Voices. How appropriate. While one classic takes a final bow, another awakens and arises. Though the kids have never really encountered a slump yet -- all work, all the time, even in smoking cigarettes. Work. This seven-inch, taken on that tour, was unsuspecting, a surprise to any GBV die-hards that may have bought it, and a boon to the kids who came just to see the kids (never lived through the "classic" line-up).

The single is wildly indifferent, but the melody is the most hopeful they've ever written. A white flag with a flower bomb in the back pocket. "No Room to Live" is the closest they've come to the Velvets-Pavement-Clean axis that is usually the unusual way they're usually defined -- that romantic nihilism defined really. You can hear feedback and fuzz sitting back on the bench, arms crossed. The once obfuscated crest of the trio is instead magnified and mellowed here.

"No Interest In Oil Spilling..." is a refrain in this defeated couple's clash, in between yawns of euphoria. If anything the single is a call to attention for those without the retroactive sense to return to Born Again Revisited before moving forward. It will all make sense. Here' to the sweet side.

The b-side, "Nite and Day" comes cut from the quilt of that studio expanse that will inform the upcoming album. The song's a quick punch of typewriter teeter-punk that fizzled enough in the end to be left off, but serves as the perfect foil to "No Room to Live." Evolved art, bristling in nervous energy when they choose to rattle off some thrash. Prepare for this album kids.

Times New Viking - "No Room to Live"(via Pitchfork)

I Saw Best Coast (and Strapping Fieldhands)

2010-10-09T10:43:00.000-05:00

Re-examining Crazy For You (perfect title, btw), my foot went directly in mouth. After seeing Bethany Cosentino and Best Coast live, a band crush developed -- foot has been yanked through skull and out the back of my head. It was likely a journalistic grudge that kept me from being smitten. There were weeks spent tracking down America's latest sweetheart too busy for an interview. Her songs are instant hummers, almost too simplistic to commend. Her story -- from mediocre noise troupe to Spector-spit Girl-Group pop, too easy to shoot holes through. So, an interview with America's latest Cali stoner tart would be comprised of questions about week and the Ronettes (or even baser, the Viv' Girls). Mind numbing gnawing you wouldn't want to read for the nth time.

An impromptu "interview" with Cosentino backstage at her recent Columbus show revealed an evolution I didn't expect. She's well aware of the simplicity of it all, how a set is composed in five minutes shuffling around the same 13 songs in a more pleasing manner than the last. I suggested "Bratty B" to lead things off. It's easily Cosentino's most simple ditty, the catchiest thing you don't want to catch yourself singing. It might result in an endless string of rhymes, over and over in your head the day long -- the sign of a wonderful piece of songwriting. Done before? A million times. But having kids in dorm rooms cop your stuff as bohemian acoustic fodder is another level these days.

Who wants to gamble, this song will end up on American Idol this year?

Best Coast's focus, or blurred vision of the classics, is a flawless design. She shimmies and smiles in time with the songs -- her co-writer, Bobb Bruno giving mammoth riff behind her light strumming -- and Ali K. (formerly of the Viv' Girls) plays the role of minimal, shamble-pop drummer to perfection (an indie mercenary/franchise kicker). It's evolution from two years ago -- and you either prefer both (the raucous and wild/the sparkle and sway) or sit cross-armed on one side of the fence. The amount of stranger sweat I was doused in gave me pause to think most kids prefer the sparkle and sway. I enjoy either if it's done right. She's right by me.

Unfortunately the hoopla got in the way of enjoying the revived Strapping Fieldhands. I'm thinking these guys should'a played an early set as well, but the lack of consumption might have dulled them? Stumbling in at their beginning was my end on a school night. I got to see about 10 songs, all pulled from the past, still as obtuse and toppling over with wonderfully antiquated pop. Thanks to the diligent efforts by one Speery, you can relive that entire set RIGHT HERE. They haven't seem to lost a beat, though a vacuum of years have gone by. Witness them doing a personal favorite, "Ben Franklin Airbath" in the year 2010.

Wearing Miguel Cairo

2010-10-08T19:55:00.001-05:00

another sad day in Reds country.

Deep Into the Emerald Universe

2010-10-08T19:42:00.003-05:00

Really. Noise has always been noise. A place where you pledge your allegiance to guys/girls/units you've seen in extremely intimate circumstances/in extremely transformative/transcendent conditions, wearing that badge. Here it's a band like Sword Heaven, or a guy like Ryan Jewell. It's evolved. I've forever heard ABOUT Emeralds, but never HEARD ENOUGH of them to truly make even a brief observation. Just noise from a lesser micro-metropolis (in reverse). I suppose that's how Emeralds have evolved, moving from the amorphous "noise" of old into intricate Kraut-excursion, scientifically/technologically modeling their heroes, but going beyond. INC. that "noise" through big sweeps. Well, even the solo stuff has INC. those sweeps. Mark McGuire (not the Card/A 'roider) just made a solo record that eclipses the brilliant neu Emeralds record. Not totally. Just a little thunderstorm under the weight of that mammoth piece of wax. Editions Mego is worth your money. Go Research.

Poolside with Roxy Music (and all of Avalon)

2010-10-08T19:42:00.002-05:00

Ended the summer with this. Now it's Indian Summer, and instead of my usual descent into death metal obsessions, I've moved more towards autumnal sophito-pop. Elegant '80s excess (carved in svelte pop songs). Here's to ending the Poolside season with an end of the summer record, an album that plays when it can, poolside at the Country Club pool (thinkin' bout Ivy League, maybe Oxford/Oxfam) and the overhang has about 40% change, causing huge Oak leaves to litter the water. I'm sure if you want this feeling, a John Hughes film (seasonally 16 Candles or Breakfast Club works best) or maybe seeing any prep-school pulp (Never Let Me Go?) will satiate. Bryan Ferry, little did I ever noticed, perpetually this nostalgic aura post-Roxy-weird.

How did I not know about Avalon? I know "More Than This," but always thought it an '80s fluke, a la Godley and Creme's (of 10cc) "Why" -- somewhere among the Roxy Music biography I stopped reading. Perhaps, following ENO (even if I know better/worse). It's never occurred to me that Bryan Ferry was the direct inspiration of the "new romantic" and Avalon was his sincere mock of the whole lot. Avalon may even surpass ABC's Look of Love, except it's glaringly less pompous, not a speck of glitter in sight. Ferry commands it all with a superhuman cool, aware those that still followed him, Andy McKay/Phil Manzanera, survived thanks to telekinesis. There is a strand of this romanticism, sophisto-pop that may or may not be defined by Avalon. A colleague of mine tends to be the foremost scholar on the subject. Read it. Learn. "Oblivious." Jeez.

But on Avalon the horns aren't fake, Mckay implants a smoky/sultry sax in only the necessary folds. Ferry's synths are supreme, second only to his confident-yet-resigned, dramatic-yet-indifferent, croon. His voice invented Martin Fry, invented Spandau Ballet. "Gold" ? Love it. But it's Bryan Ferry turned up to 11. Correct?

Avalon's secret weapon is Manzanera's exquisite guitar playing. His co-writing credit on "Take a Chance With Me" is comparable to the candy-radio-pop of the era and big bright anthems of the decade before from ELO and Fleetwood Mac. When he's called on for airy, watered-in, or flimsy floss work, he performs in the same light as Ferry, like pro, like he invented the guitars that skitter "Perfect Way" and Go West.

I'm now on a search. Thank god Alfred Soto can school you on Roxy. This is some required listening. If you like saxaphones?

Poolside is closed until Spring. Look for Friday Jams.

I Saw Wooden Shjips

2010-10-08T19:41:00.002-05:00

Dear Diary,

I know it's late on a Monday night, but I had to go see Wooden Shjips. I saw Wooden Shjips. I love Wooden Shjips. I often say things when I'm "out of mind" like "The Wooden Shjips are America's best psychedelic band" -- cuz they are, and there aren't many truly psychedelic bands anymore in America. Even fewer purely psychedelic bands in Columbus.

They played in CDR's basement. This was the perfect setting. It sounded amazing. But it should. They record a lot of amazing sounding records down there. I hope they burn me a copy of the show. They were recording it. I hope they make a vinyls of the show. They were recording it.

They also recorded the set by Times New Viking. Beer was a $1 and shots were only $2. Not a lot of "columbus" people were there. I've seen the TNV many o' time and I can't honestly say they've ever sounded better than that night. It's nothing "talking," it's not kool aid.

Pretty sure Matt Horseshit played too. Broken-hand blues, by himself, and it was equally as magical. Though the up-lights were on, and those few people were shufflin' in, so you couldn't really concentrate on what he wuz trying to do by him lonesome. I really loved it. It felt like an amazing night then.

I had to leave early Wooden Shjips. Your light show was boss. I wish they'd hung up blacklight posters (no I'm serious). But no one knew, and Columbus did you lousy (don't worry, they don't understand). Come back, and we'll put it in the same place, with the same people, and they'll probably record it again (but I'd love two live Wooden Shjips albums recorded in Columbus), and if it's the same intimate crowd it will persevere, but if we convince 100 more people to come (cause your the best psychedelic band in America) then it will transcend a happening. That's what this felt like. Achieved the mission. A happening. Just wish a lot more people came under the same spell.

Good night.

Herzog in a CAVE in 3-D

2010-10-08T19:41:00.000-05:00

For myself, it's a reflex to call Werner Herzog the greatest living artistic mind. I would even base that solely on his work as a documentarian. Be it the language of auctioneers or a frozen pond in remote Siberia -- if the images are there, Herzog can make the story just as illuminating. It's always a portrait of a world you never knew existed. It was always there, but Herzog who brought it from the background. I can highly recommend every one of these you can obtain.

Who knew that the Chauvet-Pont-d'Arc become the subject of Werner Herzog's first 3-D feature? I was practically giddy that Cave of Forgotten Dreams would be his first foray into the medium. For Herzog this seems to make perfect sense. His films are always very abstract pictures, wanting to draw you in to the myth/reality of what you're seeing, rather than spending time validating what you're seeing -- the mark of superior art? Herzog is always a mixed bag when brought up in conversation. You are converted or you aren't. Or you appreciate a handful of things -- Grizzly Man being the most noted. My goodness, Rescue Dawn is a film my parents still confer should have won Oscars when it was released, but I couldn't in good conscience ever tell them to rent My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done -- Herzog's latest flick. While it has the budget, (most of the) cast, and distribution of my favorite of last year, Bad Lieutenant, it moves like an episode of Law and Order hypnotized, much like the actors in Heart of Glass. Like it was made in a weekend. Like I like Herzog, but I'd still not brag about My Son as one of the greats. Still essential if you know the man.

Here's hoping Cave of Forgotten Dreams revolutionizes cinema. School kids will have to see this at Science Centers worldwide -- in 3-D. Teens will get high and watch this at former LazerDomes as Midnight Movies -- when 3-D makes it to those wastelands (do they exist?). You can sit yourself in a once inhabited cave-dwelling, tattooed in ancient diaries of line drawings while on your couch -- once I spring for a 3-D living room experience. In order for 3-D to survive (and I'm a wholehearted rah-rah for 3-D) there will have to be something beyond the gimmick. Movies you'll HAVE to see in 3-D. This should be one of them. All of that said, I fully believe Jackass 3-D will be nothing short of brilliant.

Chili Quest Vol. 7 - Price Hill Chili

2010-09-26T17:55:00.000-05:00

This is perhaps the Quest that took the most courage. Delving through the peaks and valleys of East Price Hill and beyond the Queen Blvd. Parkway. It was actually an amazing cruise through a half-thriving neighborhood and half-American ruins -- magnificent homes, pre-1900s, gone to spoil. I'm imagining places like Cleveland and Cincinnati are only second to Detroit in this display of abandonment?

Once up the actual hill, it was working class, stuck in 1978. There, Price Hill Chili and the adjacent Golden Fleece Lounge (both founded in 1962) looked an neighborhood institution. Both spaces likely overflowing on Friday nights.

We chose to dine in the smaller, "original," parlour. It was your typical counter, some worn booths, a blow-up pic of the Ol' Price Hill incline -- and above all else, it was clean, quick, and friendly (how we like our parlours here). Nothing, besides perhaps Pleasant Ridge, could top the authenticity of this Cincinnati experience. The charm and comfort gives it points on my scorecard. But the chili (where the proof resides) was completely lacking. J. Duane ordered a cup of chili, on the side. This was a strategy I've never exercised and here it fortified my instinct that Price Hill is average. There was really no distinct flavor and the consistency was Skyline style, almost too thin. Still, it wasn't fruitless, as the atmosphere added a bumper of resonance while I'm here thinking back. That stuff counts.

So -- we've got two more quests to go. And since it looks like I'll see at least one playoff game. I'm bound to reach Blue Ash and Empress (where? I don't know? need help here) before we get too deep in autumn.

A Day With Peter Edward Rose Revisited

2010-09-26T17:54:00.001-05:00

Regardless of your view of Peter Edward Rose, this hit, 4192, was immortal. Something we will never see again in our lifetime. Something I witnessed at nine years old, when my father had an extra ticket and decided to take his son. I sat with my Uncle Hero, up in the Green Seats in deep centerfield. They always talk about how long the standing ovation lasted (over ten minutes) and I remember it feeling like forever. Even though Riverfront Stadium is long gone, and Pete Rose is shunned from Major League Baseball (gambling had nothing to do with his hits) -- I still regard this as one of the defining moments in my life. It made me love baseball more than most other things. Made it a religion. Devout.

Coincidence and Conspiracy riddle the date. September 11th, 1985. Another shadow that looms over Rose. When I heard MLB was allowing Rose back on a baseball field, to celebrate 25 years later, it was a given that I'd take my father. J. Duane Elliott, for his birthday (September 10th, 2010). He brought me to the games for the last 33 years, so I owed him. I like him much more than Pete. Dad's the real hero.

The anniversary festivities were a bit underwhelming. Pete can walk around an MLB field, but can't speak on one. His taped comments were probably the best part. To hear him advise young players to come clean before the hammer comes down -- it actually humbling. Pete should'a talked way back when. When they would'a just suspended him a season or two, then embrace him back and let him become a legendary manager, with a gamblin' hiccup in his career. Too little, too late, but at least he's telling the Roger Clemens of the game to fess up quick.

Pete circled the Great American Ball Park in a golf cart, stomped on first base, met some old legends (Eric Davis, a childhood favorite), accepted a crystal trophy, and got a few "hall of fame" chants from the surprisingly small crowd (for this event anyways). He'll make it. In his lifetime I hope. In my lifetime I hope. A trip to Cooperstown is necessary. Something I hope my father and I can share -- like this game, like the first game.

Our game? Well, the Reds have been hit or miss as of late, but this night was all about the comeback heroics we've seen all year. Saw the Chapman give up the lead, but pitch a 103 MPH fastball and a 90 MPH slider (thee nasty boy/el muchacho repugnante) and then saw Joey Votto-matic launch an opposite field home run to win the game, break the tie in the bottom of the 10th. On that night, things seemed perfect.

Foodie Cart -- Street Food of the Gods

2010-09-26T17:54:00.000-05:00

Go watch Anthony Bourdain's episode titled "Heartland." He came to Columbus -- and made some solid observations. Namely Kihachi (the gourmet Japanese chef's meal/small plate smörgåsbord)and now, Clever Crow Pizza are relatively unknown but essential components in Columbus foodie culture. The mackeral liver at Kihachi is proof enough we have some gems here. Another segment in that episode claims Austin, Texas as the food cart capital of the U.S. Seasonally it is an ideal location for the food cart culture -- and furthering that truth I've sampled many of the carts there in my years. Ground zero for Taco Trucks, Korean Tex-Mex, one dedicated entirely to duck, Kebabalicious, the cupcake place, anything BBQ, and worthwhile NY style slices everywhere. Yeah, we should be jealous of Austin.

But should we? When we now have the Foodie Cart to brag about? The Foodie Cart trumps all in Columbus. Every other cart in this city is relatively worthless in comparison. They shill Japanese Crepes -- though many a Korean recipe slips in regularly. My first visit was heaven. Swordfish with Black Mussel Marinara and Oyako Chicken (which means mother and child, egg and chicken I learned). In future quests the menu revealed many gourmet surprises -- here's just a sampling:

Ancho Chipotle Chili Dog
Dry Curry Ground Beef
The now Legendary Bulgogi Cheesesteak
Miso Pork Belly

Yes. Pork Belly in a sweet, delicate crepe. It works. Bourdain would be proud/dumbfounded that this existed on a High Street sidewalk. I've yet to try the dessert crepes but they boast a pretty mean Banana Cream Crepe and the infamous Azuki Stick (?). Any suggestions are welcome. Plus they scoot around all over town, which adds to the reward of obtaining these goodies. Following them on Facebook to find menus and locations is now a rite of passage.

Update: just had a craving and seeked them out. Had the very popular Bacon Okonomi Yuki (a recipe with fried soba noodles and a egg) and the Azuki Stick -- which is a sweet red bean paste, similar on my tongue to guava, topped with strawberries and fresh mozzarella cheese. Believe.

I Saw Blue Oyster Cult

2010-09-02T20:15:00.001-05:00

Seems like I've had myraid opporunities to see Blue Oyster Cult live over my lifetime. Who knows if I didn't see them in some field circa 1978 and the parents don't remember. It's possible. They've been playing in fields and arenas and stadiums and gymnasiums (and likely a ton of biker bars) since 1968. It's a wonder that in 2010, Eric Bloom and Buck Dharma -- the guitar wizards (twin leads second to only Thin Lizzy) who invented the Cult, still play the lead. And play it with a everlasting fervor. I'm sure it was face-melting during the Tyranny and Mutation tour -- it wasn't here. I'm sure it was fist-pumping "Heavy Metal Parking Lot" in the Summer of 1981, with "Burning for You" on the radio -- waiting outside Hara Arena -- it wasn't here. But they played everything and more, with utmost precision and clarity (a few steps slower maybe, not during "Buck's Boogie"). "Hot Rails to Hell," "The Red and the Black," the hits. Funny it felt like at this, the Obetz Zuchinni Festival, next to a dirt-weed race-track, grease carts and life-threatening midway rides, out on the ball diamond, these legends could get a response with instrumental songs with eight minute solos. In Obetz, and I suppose most of middle America -- "Godzilla" appears to be the biggest hit (though "Burnin" reached 4 on the charts), lots of Godzilla cut-outs for $2 at Wal-Mart in the new millenium and no "time to play b-sides." I truly appreciate their penchant to channel the old version of this band, but honestly, now, even with families around, airbourne cold sores, meth heads in sweat pants, and heavy cops, the band doesn't look or sound that far removed from that past. Burn out the day, burn out the night.

Chili Quest Vol. 6 - Cincinnati Recipe Chili (At Home)

2010-09-02T19:54:00.000-05:00

I spied this number in my favorite local Italian Butcher Shop (Carfagna's cross the street). I've seen this generic "Cincinnati Recipe" Chili in cans, but never a pre-mix you can make yourself. The recipe called for average ground beef, I decided on 98% Lean ground beef. It made all the difference. Using more beef than the usual parlor, the consistency was that of Gold Star (not soupy) but the taste was actually the most flavorful I've had yet (close to the scale of Pleasant Ridge). The second re-heat I added Sriracha to the mixture and the balance was set perfectly. At the grocery I usually grab Ball Park Franks/Nickle's Buns/Store Grated Cheese. Oyster Crackers. This time I made a 3-Way over spaghetti. Something I haven't tried yet. Excellent. We were in Cincy Chili heaven for three days.

So unless you can recommend anything else and/or Empress apologizes for my dismay -- I'm capping the competition once I hit Price Hill and Blue Ash. Is there an Empress downtown (or some storied parlor that isn't exactly considered a parlor -- i.e. a saloon that serves chili)? I need your info. The quest is everlasting.

Will Ice Cube Ever Get His Groove Back?

2010-09-02T19:15:00.000-05:00

There was a time when Oshay Jacskson aka Ice Cube, could do no wrong. Nothing. He was untouchable, almost a surrogate role model to white surburban kids who felt as if they were hearing a new language. His flow was never really a flow, it was more an attack of pre-meditated couplets/punches. It was the cadence of a news report. Riots before the riots. Is there a slipping point? I don't remember enjoying Predator that much -- buying War and Peace I and II and realizing Cube has become more stunted in his style. It was no imagination, just imagined hardcore. His connection to the West Coast was hardwired to Hollywood eventually. Before we know it -- Are We There Yet? : The Musical. Still, as much as Ice Cube and Ice-T produce questionable musical fodder in their later years, it's hard no to root for them to one day reign again. Not sure if it's their legacy or their entirely genuine personalities?

Soon you'll be seeing Mr. Jackson's comeback in motion. Surely all the usual suspects are there -- perhaps a Snoop track, WC (most underrated of the gangster era), a fairytale, a song about "jacking" I hope -- but can we believe? Can we call Ice Cube hard after he's headlined a Gathering of the Juggalos and appeared clowning for the camera in a sitcom byline during an NBA game? His documentary on the Raiders started great, but eventually jawned about how linked the team was to N.W.A. ("cause Al Davis/never paid us"). Surely the day N.W.A. is inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, they'll smile in unison, say a prayer for Eazy and watch a lesser group (Bone Thugz) assassinate their greatest hits. This day is coming soon.

For now. Cube sounds angry enough in "Drink the Kool-Aid" and "I Rep That West," so much "the West is going to tell (him) it's too West." But it's like the man has had a stroke that debilitated his ability to retain his witty/cutthroat beginning. That said, it's effective. "Rep" sparkles in bubbling synths and fake strings, while "Kool Aid" is a mesh of Public Enemy's furious alarm with old-school beat and rudimentary rhyme (still stunted). Both singles do hint at better things, a rise in rap stock, a revival. Let's hope he let loose a bit more on the deep cuts.

Stalking Miguel Cairo

2010-09-02T18:51:00.000-05:00

Thanks to our correspondent in Los Angeles -- with access to Dodger's Stadium -- Jordan Lee secured a meeting with our favorite Red, Miguel Cairo. In this picture he is wholeheartedly endorsing the tubmlr Miguel Cairo is Greater Than..., by giving us a real life "greater than." Now the site has been keeping up with Miguel's crusade to help the Reds secure an 8 game lead in the Central Division. Tonight Miguel > Todd Coffey, a very ugly human being who used to foul up the Red's bullpen, by hitting a double that scored the tying run against the Brew Crew last night. Random thought (Adam says the Brewer's players look like Brewer's players -- the Brewers are actually alright by me).

Random video of Miguel giving an interview in Spanish.

Jimmy VanBeeber Come Back to the Five and Dime

2010-09-02T18:50:00.001-05:00

It was likely a basement party in Dayton (nitrous and blacklight, towels used as room dividers)-- one day way back in the early '90s -- that I first learned about James VanBebber. He was to film making in Dayton, what GBV was to timeless home-recorded indie pop anthems, 'cept not many knew about him even then. Every frame of VanBebber's work oozes with the gritty blue-collar/parking lot hesher romanticism seen in the city's seedier neighborhoods, or maybe even right downtown. And let's not forget the graveyards. Especially in his first feature, Deadbeat at Dawn, the ominous Woodland Cemetery (a hilly getaway for rowdy teens) serves as many a location. In the streets it's easy to spot the half-boarded porn marts and empty warehouse that still litter the hub of the Miami Valley (and seem to get worse). Driving past the Moraine Plant now is as eerie as it gets. But maybe there really is no romanticism in it? VanBebber's initial gang war is filled with abstract moments of nunchuck handiwork and very choreographed martial art brawls. Even when you laugh though, it's followed by displays that are all to real (and in the case of the short film Roadkill: The Last Days of John Martin, too much to stomach). I'm amazed that you can view his '90s love letter My Sweet Satan (a real life story of Satanist teenagers in upstate New York) in complete on YouTube (warning, the end is more frightening than you might be able to handle).

This is only to serve as an introduction to VanBebber. I've yet to investigate the decade-in-the-making Mason Family movie, and can't find any of his other short films. He won't give (me) an interview, and appears to be in hiding while he whittles away at a low-budget, decade-in-the-making biopic on Al Capone. I will proceed despite my stomach. This is a purity that's tough to handle, even to the point where I can side with VanBebber when he claims the Grindhouse revival is shit, nowhere near the rough cuts of Deadbeat. His stuff is a 42nd Street orgy of gratuitous violence and damned behavior. In Portuguese he'd be called the Maldita.

Come back VanBebber, Dayton needs another ode on celluloid. Further discussions later.

They're Right -- Curren$y is Worth Your Time

2010-09-02T18:12:00.000-05:00

I imagine the keystroke for a dollar bill is as regular in the e-mails of guys like Curren$y as they currently are for nightbus bands using triangles, hearts, and clovers in their unspeakable names or sleazy pop stars confusing kids in lingua sexting. Blind to the fact that Curren$y even exists, or for that matter, put in time as Master P and Lil' Wayne's swamp boy -- it was there trees became a way of life. I'd be dumb to try and explain any other recent histories of the rapper, or fabled mixtapes, or collaborations/catalog appearances, but it does seem the man was too looped to be a real Def Jammer. He's on the subsidiary, where the strange ones go now. That may bode well. Absent from most hip-hop these days, above or below ground, Curren$sy rhymes with a new, albeit perpetually blunted (make that "jointed" as he doesn't do White Owls), flow. Pilot Talk is an accomplished hip-hop album due to it's crispness. Stoned immaculate and mumbled flows stay buyout among creamy samples. Somewhere on the axis of Steely Dan -- New Kingdom -- Native Tongues his template is impressive, nostalgic, but kinda' like the first time you heard Sensational. Remember?

In a year when I'm increasingly listening to actual "albums" and "eps" by hip-hop artists, and not just singles (Big Boi, Drake, Freddie Gibbs, Pill) it's a feat to be the favorite. Pilot Talk will settle nicely into fall and likely right onto a year end list.

Chili Quest Vol. 5 - Pleasant Ridge

2010-08-12T22:23:00.001-05:00

...even the champ has been here. what was once a simple Cincy community, now gentrified and immaculate by most Cincy standards. I wasn't the least "worried" driving the length of Montgomery. I was actually enlightened.

...this is a diner -- first and foremost -- it could sit on a calm lake, four blocks into walnut -- what would that be? crawford or canal -- a river, perhaps, there's a river not that far from here. admire the booths, the awnings on those booths, the pictures of Cincy you wished you had in Dayton or Columbus or Cleveland for fuckssakes...

...goodness these were good. two, as always. presented as such, as always. except the chili, a recipe the waitress couldn't reveal/"fuck with," was on another level. it could've been synthetic, i got the taco bell burps in the 7th inning. but there was an unnamed spice among the usual Cincy chili vapors. upon initial contact it was magical. trumping camp. wash. by millions in a blink.

this was all-world Cincy chili. made for the taste. the lasting. emblematic of the city. Since 1964 Pleasant Ridge has sustained a neighborhood with a staple. my city needs more staples. i'll be back. Price Hill awaits a challenge.

Guess I shoul'da had the cheese fries too.

Churrasco!

2010-08-12T22:11:00.000-05:00

This was my "weekend" on Facebook. Showing the world of "friends" what they were missing. Namely, a "real" Brasilian Churrasco. The way I remember it on the tiny street in Rio, at the guy's driveway, with the stone grill, feeding us beer and "soap operas." Believe me, I've tried this many times -- ever since my first churrasco in Uruguay -- and it has never ended in such a feast. Though the fancy steakhouse version of churrasco in Brasil is often a pale specter of that glutton in America.

I owe most of my successful night to my Pittsburgh friend, Thiago (a true man of Brasil). He handled the knife, I worked on my "tony bourdain"-ish, wanderlust, marinades.

I'm going to try to re-create here for your use -- can easily be acheived on a small 12" gas grill, in a-la-carte, more than you can eat, firing sessions. Keep in mind we did not have/could not find blood sausage, chicken hearts, or farofa/farina. But those nights in Rio, we didn't have any of the above. (If you can recommend a butcher that still sells hearts, please let me know).

Wood Skewers (they come in packs that contain more than enough, these are kabobs essentially so you'll need to soak the skewers in water most of the day to prevent burning)

We used:

6 Lbs. of Top Sirloion (cut into one inch cubes)
2 Lbs. of Large Rock Shrimp (veined and skewered)
Old Bay Seasoning (all the shrimp needs)
3 Lbs. of Chicken Breast (cut into one inch cubes)
Vinegar Brasil (soaked with rose, rosemary, chamomile -- for the steak)
Orange Juice (the 50% less sugar kind, for the chicken)
Sweet Tangy BBQ Marinade (housemade by Weiland's, for the chicken)
Fresh Lime (a pre-spritz for the shrimp and steak)

(Kabob Additions)
Two White Onions
Two Green Bell Peppers
Four Hothouse Tomatoes
Two Zucchini

The caveat of a true churrasco is the salt. What you coat it with right before the fire. I'm fortunate enough to have a half-cup of the finest churrasco salt containing -- rock sea salt, calbrese (sausage seasoning), dried garlic, white pepper, and other secret spices -- to rain on the mountain of meat we'd created.

In Rio it's all about sticks. How many you've had? Which were the best? By the end of the parade of meat is comparable to finishing the best filet you've ever consumed. The best seafood meal in your life. It's actually kind of more than that. A communal happening. The social aspect makes all taste extravagant. Or there's nothing like minimal meat?

I've always made a variation -- Spicy Meat -- which marinates steak stick in Green Tabasco, cayenne pepper, Sriracha, and fresh jalapenos. It always works.