The Power of the Swailes' Road Floating Cube

What does it all mean? Can locals inform me if this spins at night, year-round, and not just during the holidays? I should know more about this strange, mysterious, Troy, Ohio, USA landmark. What does it all mean?

The Garfield Ride?

It Exists. Lebanon Outlet Mall. When did John Davis sign off on this one? Couldn't some theme park in America have a Garfield World? I Hate Mondays.

Witness the Wisdom of Bangs

Between the time a friend of mine shot me a link to this wonderful video and today, Bangs has already become an internet/pop culture sensation. By far the best Sudanese import since....??? There could be question as to if this is elaborate put-on in a world of intense irony and quick gimmick or as genuine as they come -- a earnest artist emulating the bling and machismo of American pop-hop. I'm sticking with the later. "Take U To Da Movies" is not all that extreme when it comes to jokesters mocking rap, and for that I'd have to say Bangs means all of this from the bottom of his heart.

Where is Indian Summer?

I guess it has arrived this week. Thought with the frost and the rain that we might not see it this year. I was beginning to worry, as this is my favorite time of the year.Driving through the fall foliage with the windows down yesterday I realized why I love Ohio, if only for this seven day seasonal harvest. Can you imagine living in a place without seasons?

Anyways, this post is just an excuse to show a Beat Happening video. Funny this fits autumn perfectly.

I Saw a Juggalo Car Today...

If someone can explain for me my maniacal fascination with the Juggalos, I may finally arrive at some semblance of peace. All this mind you without listening to perhaps no more than two minutes of their music in my lifetime. The clown make-up, the hatchet man, the Faygo, the missing teeth. Honestly, this subculture might just represent the absolute lowest rung of our society. Not sure if I ever posted the infomercial for this year’s Gathering of the Juggalos, the 10th Annual mind you – if not here it is. It’s truly a masterpiece of cinema. For the last ten years we’ve always thought it would be a lark to head to the Gathering and document all the mayhem as some sort of warped sociology project (Ohio is in the heart of Juggalo country), but never had the nerve to do such a thing. Think of the diseases that you might catch there, the Faygo. This year a guy finally decided to take the perspective of an active participant in the event and record a compact and enlightening mini-movie of the 10th anniversary. I’d say it’s pretty accurate of what you could expect at this thing. Who are these people? Where has taste gone to die? Are their ranks growing because I see Juggalos everyday.

Live at the Circleville Pumpkin Show

The perfect pre-Halloween celebration. What better way that to celebrate pumpkins than with over-salted pumpkin seeds, cult desserts like pumpkins donuts and waffles, pumpkin burgers, pumpkin candles and helmets. You get the idea. I never knew the gourd was so edible and useful in the home.

So there's a pumpkin shortage this year? Not in Circleville. They had the things in all shapes, sizes, and colors. They had the precise scent of dying leaves and cold stone buildings wafting through the air. Wednesday was locals night maybe, the downtown cretins and dark back alleyways lent the town the feel of some place haunted.

But the parade through the city -- with marching bands from Logan Elm, Teays Valley, and Asheville, dentists in Chryslers with their high-school, Pumpkin Queen hopefuls on the hood -- became a microcosm of idyllic smalltown america. Congrats to Andrea Turner btw (really, read through this link).

Perhaps it's a sign of my old age that I actually enjoy such preciousness. Either way it's better than any fair. It's a show. Bring a flask though, for I searched for Pumpkin Beer high and low to no avail.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot - The Black Swan Brakhage

It came while watching the flawless season 3 finale of Lost, where Jack rocks a freak-folk beard, an oxycodin addiction, and In Utero, before opting for suicide via bridge jump (and it's all in the future, mind you, after leaving the island). Within the episode, there was another glimpse of the Dharma Initiative's logo for the Swan Station, which is eerily close to the one used by Olivia Tremor Control offshoot, the Black Swan Network. Coincidence? Or does an art designer on set, have a hankering for Cubist Castles? It made me joyful that I never sold my vinyl copy of Dream Tapes, the group's two-track ambient noise opus, for I always knew it would come in handy one day. Age has not left this album obsolete, in fact it's starting to make me a bit angry that more modern psych-folk types aren't admitting their debt to Olivia Tremor Control. Tribal edits and extensions, tape-loop fuckkery, smoke and mirrored guitar sketches, horns attached to oscillators; light years ahead of their time if you ask me.

Forget about Pink Floyd with the Wizard of OZ, or Grizzly Bear with City of Lost Children. Try Black Swan Network's Dream Tapes with By Brakhage: An Anthology, skip forward to his more brief, color-encrusted, 80's films, play loud (with bong and buddha box, if available), and you've achieved dorm-room transcendence.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot - Chief Eazy-E

Welcome to my new column Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. It would be called What the Fuck, but I heard a talking head on 700 WLW use this alternative on air, in between some Red's innings Saturday afternoon, and deemed it a worthy title for something new. This will simply be a dump for anything that doesn't fit anywhere else on this here blog.

The Eazy-E arrowhead? A strange relic from my childhood found while cleaning out my former closet at my parent's house. Where did this come from? I'm figuring it was made around 5th or 6th grade, around the time Tim Grunkemeyer and I stole both Straight Outta Compton and Eazy Duz It from the Salem Mall in Dayton. Along with 2 Live Crew's As Nasty As They Wanna Be we (my gang of nerds) would secretly memorize every word of this trio of tapes during our time together in GATE (gifted and talented education). That's where I'm assuming this leather arrowhead was made, as we would take time out to do native crafts or learn knots and small electronics, ya' know, basic public school stuff. I was enamored with every aspect of hip-hop culture, and would integrate it into any kind of school project or book report (I once rapped about Ohio history over the "Humpty Hump" instrumental in social studies). Notice though the Indian Swastikas, my color detail, the extra rococo designs. Don't ask me what I planned on doing with such a bauble, I probably wore it once, these days though it would be priceless to a hipster in Williamsburg. Maybe I should sell it on Ebay?....nah. Maybe it unlocks a portal to Eazy's Malt Liquor Cathouse in the heavens? Wishing now I could find the Hip-Hop Trivia board game I developed around the same era.

So...if there's anything you would like to add to my museum of oddities(must be related to music), please send it along.