Though I'd add this, since someone I know won a Grammy this year. Congrats to Mr. Carney. Still wondering why they don't telecast the Best Alternative Album award. What?
Click Here to Watch Michael Carney accept his award.
TRA = Terrence Russell Adams
KJE = Wumme Wenders
All photos courtesy of the lovely Kristin Patton.
Here We Go:
11:27 Alright, I can't actively do this anymore. My head is starting to bleed from the hair follicles. Congrats to Arcade Fire, congrats to Mike Carney. See you bastards at the Oscars. Kevin, thank you for doing the leg work, Kristin, thank you for the pictures, Kellie, thank you for the company and Devo, thank you for being an awesome dog. Goodnight you sexy bastards. - TRA
11:28 Say Goodnight Terrence. See You at the Oscars? - KJE
11:25 I suppose this is a make-up award for Funeral. Times New Viking wins by default. - TRA
11:23 And the "good guys" win? I really want to know what Babs and Kris were muttering right there -- and to themselves when the Canadian weirdos played another song. - KJE
11:23 You Lose GAGA. Foiled Again. #supervillain - KJE
11:22 Album of the Year goes to......oh who gives a shit. - TRA
11:20 All said. I'm rooting for Arcade Fire to take home album of the year - for a sprawling, pretentious, mediocre record. I still love a lot of the things they do -- just headed in the wrong direction. Towards E. Street instead of OK Computer. - KJE
11:19 Is this show ever going to fucking end? Jesus, I feel like we're watching the Sorrow and the Pity of award ceremonies. - TRA
11:15 Listening to this is reminding me why I don't like their new album. I also blame the Grammys for ruining that performance. - TRA
11:14 Cuz we rode BMX in the SUBURBS. Well, WE did. I had a Mongoose. - KJE
11:13 What is up with the goddamn BMXers? This is retarded. - TRA
11:12 Payin TNV'S BILLS!! - TRA
11:12 The moment you've all been waiting for...why am I not that excited? This album was awful. - KJE
11:04 That's Record of the Year? We're all going to burn for this. I know it. - TRA
11:06 Is this thing OVER YET? - KJE
11:04 Trying to figure out the difference between Record and Song of the year. "Need You Now" for the sweep. - KJE
11:02 I don't think anyone can read the teleprompter. - TRA
11:01 That fire represents Matt Kemp's career. - TRA
11:00 Exchange between Kellie Morgan and I: Me - How do you spell Vagazzle? Kellie - I think you know how to spell it. - TRA
10:59 Good to see Jimmy Brooks busted out of that wheelchair, after getting shot at his high school, battling through erectile dysfunction, getting dumped by Ash and Ellie, and made a name for himself. Go Drake. - KJE
10:58 Puff Daddy is rocking a grill that is preventing him from speaking. Makes sense, because now I'm in awe of this shit show performance. - TRA
10:52 Here's where I wish Odd Future and Lil' B would bum rush the stage. - KJE
10:52 Why is Eminem so intense? CALM DOWN SHADY. - TRA
10:50 Nicki Minaj back from her trip to the safari. Will.I.Am back from making me do heroin during the Super Bowl.- TRA
10:49 And the Grammys just lost their 0-35 yr. old audience instantly. - KJE
10:47 Babs killed Grimace to make that dress. - TRA
10:46 I can listen to Kris Kristofferson say "angel" and "champion" all night long. But no Babs. Exactly what was/is the allure of this person? Yentl? - KJE
10:46 Kris Kristofferson looks like he might pass out. Does he have a cold or something? Or maybe he's just choking up because he has to introduce Barbara fucking Streisand. A star is scorn. - TRA
10:40 Mick Jagger just copulated with that entire crowd. And they loved it. - TRA
10:38 Lemme take this moment to talk about how this is the closest thing to real soul music we're gonna see tonight and it's sung by a white guy from the U.K. - TRA
10:37 Kellie Morgan sez: (Mick Jagger) moves around with the grace of a ballerina. He's a muppet. - TRA
10:36 OK. I suppose this will be better than the "world Grammy premiere of Arcade Fire." - KJE
10:35 And guess who's not dead? MICK JAGGER! Mick has officially made this night okay with a Solomon Burke tribute. Also, FUCK YOU KEITH URBAN. - TRA
10:35 And now Mick Jagger ruins a perfectly lovely tribute to a lot of cool dead people. When will Mick die? BEFORE KEITH. Huzzah.
10:34 RIP ALEX CHILTON AND SOLOMON BURKE - TRA
10:34 RIP DIO. - TRA
10:33 R.I.P. Gerry Rafferty. You are missed. KJE
10:32 Wait...people die? BULLSHIT. - TRA
10:29 And here's the obligatory yawnfest speech from this bearded cornhole. Ugh. - TRA
10:28 I'm gonna just say it: Glee is maybe the worst thing to happen to popular music in the last twenty years outside of Cop Rock. - TRA
10:26 Can we take a second to talk about how much of a fucking sham Dr. Phil is? - TRA
10:25 The Latin-sung McDonald's commercial has been the high point of this evening. Who wrote that little nugget? - KJE
10:22 Esperanza, welcome to the highlight of your career. Most useless award given in the world. - KJE
10:21 Esperanza, who makes music that sounds like a hippie noodle dancing in hell. - TRA
10:20 John Legend is so high right now. Jewel is just...umm...vapid. - TRA
10:20 So worried about DETOX. - KJE
10:17 She needs a doctor, apparently. - TRA
10:17 The fact that the music industry has yet to find a replacement for Eminem is item number one for the music industry's failure. Then again this single sold 10 trillion copies. Every trailer park/ghetto/broken suburban home in America has this as their anthem. - KJE
10:13 Rihanna wearing what looks like a blizzard of shitty fabric. - KJE
10:12 "I'm here to officially apologize for the Green Hornet." - KJE
10:12 Seth Rogan, please save us. ZINGER. - TRA
10:09 The Grammys are suffering from a general lack of Taylor Swift. Luckily she's in every other commercial. BTW -- she's doing fine, tweeted me from Osaka this morning. - KJE
10:08 BACK. Devo the Dog would like say the following: RUFF RUFF RUFF THIS AWARD SHOW SUCKS HARDER THAN ME WHEN I HAVE A FULL BOWL OF DOG FOOD IN FRONT OF ME. - TRA
10:01 Not going to lie -- Katy Perry has zero talent, but I love this song. Catchy as fuck. - KJE
9:58 "Love the fact so many punk and hip hop kids are watching a bunch of shit they hate because someone they have an affiliation with won an award during the pretelecast. Myself included." - Wes Flexner (speaking about the Black Keys -- who have already won.)
9:48 We need you Terrence. Cee-Lo is doing a pretty amazing Muppet/Carnival/Black/Elton John/Revue.....but Paltrow had to come and "forget" it all up. - KJE
9:46 "Need You Now" is a deserving song. Song of the Year? - KJE
9:44 The Kings of Leon and Miley Cyrus -- We now know the faces of the Four Horseman. - KJE
9:42 Thinking this is the girl in Sleigh Bells. Need You Now. - KJE
9:40 Lea Michelle is wearing Pucci!!! ...and I actually heart Lady Antebellum...and Simply Red.
9:30 They almost tripped Dylan and his microphone is too low. My childhood is dying with this. All of those dudes behind him are such douchebags. This is hurting me in very important places inside. - TRA
9:30 These are the guys Mark E. Smith slapped, right? Good for him. - KJE
9:28 Oh, the Avett Brothers! Pardon me while I shine the bullet I'm about to put through my brain. - TRA
9:28 Now I know what a Wednesday at the Treehouse sounds like. Give me Back USHER. - KJE
9:25 Nice trucker hat, DWEEB. Dylan better come out and punch these ass clowns right in their small, small penises. #dickpunch - TRA
9:23 PLAY HER OFF. PLAY HER OFF. PLAY HER OFF. PLAY HER OFF. - TRA
9:21 Lady Gaga beats out Katy Perry's boobs. Congratulations? Christ. This is awful. Did she just fuckin' curse? - TRA
9:21 NKOTBB tx on sale tomorrow..... - KJE
9:16 Awesome though that Neil was nominated for an album called Le Noise. - KJE
9:15 Did that dude just call out his pregnant "girlfriend" on national T.V.? #awesome - TRA
9:14 Neil Young gets beat by Muse. TRAVESTY!!!!! - TRA
9:14 Jeff Beck just woke up. - KJE
9:11 Never Forget. Will Smith is a Scientologist right? His spawn are wired to rule the world one day...- KJE
9:08 Bieber should probably say never. Maybe. Soon. His voice is dropping. #puberty - TRA
9:07 Usher is a kid fucker. He picks them up in parking lots, apparently. - TRA
9:07 "If it was meant to be, we'd meet again." Is that a line from the Neverending Story? He did write this song. I'll give the kid that. - KJE
9:05 Eva Longoria looks like she's draped in curtains. - TRA
9:05 @ Kellie Morgan -- Now Kellie's is on the fun. Even if she hasn't heard the early Lambert records. - KJE
9:02 Andy Hampel would be a vital resource here tonight. Right now - KJE
9:01 Can't wait to see what Terry says about Dylan and those "other" bands. - KJE
8:59 Kellie Morgan Sez: She (Lambert) looks like she fell out of Wal Mart. - TRA
8:57 If that's the future of music, I'm going to go ahead and shove an ice pick in my ear drum. - TRA
8:57 Do Love Monae. Hate the Retro thang they're doing. - KJE
8:54 Give the mic to her hair, maybe it can sing. - TRA
8:52 Seriously, this is the death of pop music. Right here. He looks like something that would show up in Little Richard's stool. - TRA
8:51 Is B.O.B. a discreet reference to Outkast, or does it mean Boy on Bud? Who's this guy? Richie Valens? Hope they play "Tightrope" at least.... - KJE
8:45 Olive Garden Commercial. Time to Drink. - KJE
8:43 - Pictures courtesy of Kristin Patton.
8:42 Headless bass? You sir deserve a wedgie. - TRA
8:42 I would have no problem with you bringing back Panic at the Disco. Prog for Frats? Our generation's Gentle Giant? - KJE
8:40 Douchy sign to Egypt protestors in 3...2...1... - TRA
8:40 OOOHHHHH!!! FUCK YOU LENNY KRAVITZ!!!! I HOPE YOU DIE. - KJE
8:37 Sorry, besides the Black Keys and crew, Miranda Lambert is the coolest person in this room. #bighitcountry - KJE
8:36 This song does have a chorus, right? RIGHT?!!?? - TRA
8:33 So that guy is getting married to a Vegas call girl? - TRA
8:33 - Who's this guy? - KJE
8:31 That sound you hear is Lou Reed's soul getting ripped out through his nostrils. - TRA
8:27 So wait, she was born lame? - TRA
8:26 Is "Express Yourself" that old? Shoulder implants. Do parent's accept this? - KJE
8:23 Ricky Martin is a Tool. Lady Gaga is a bag of tools. - TRA
8:22 Ricky Martin's pants say, "I'm now openly gay, and I've been on Oprah -- now I'm introducting Lady Gaga." - KJE
8:20 Apparently Glee is a group and now Paramore is pop? Confused. Go Sade. - KJE
8:20 Friskies commercial was the best thing so far.....#psychcats - KJE
8:15 That was a tidal wave of suck. NEXT. - TRA
8:14 "Sorry fans, I couldn't get out of the Cove because of the influx of Japanese fisherman." Aretha - KJE
8:10 You are all molesting her song book. Burn this stage down immediately. - TRA
8:09 This is a clusterfuck of sadness. - TRA
8:07 Florence of the Machine is so out of place. She looks like a menopausal 7th grade art teacher. She should only be singing in Donewaiting Message Boards. - KJE
8:06 I wouldve rather heard the machine sing. - TRA
8:03 I CANT LIVE WITHOUT MY RADIO. Youre indoors, asshat. - TRA
8:01 It appears John Goodman performed at a Grammy show. Oh wait, that's Aretha Franklin. Did she die today or am I missing something? - KJE
7:58 Already wish Ricky Gervais was hosting this thing, and I'm not even sure WHO is hosting this thing. What am I getting myself into? - KJE
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